Childhood Wishes
by Basched
Summary: The crew of Serenity undergo a drastic alteration. Re-write of my story A Little Problem. Will include Rayne-esque themes. Mal/Inara, Zoe/Wash Kaylee/Simon Jayne/River. Rating may go up in future chapters.
1. Childhood Wishes

_Author's Note: This story was first written yonks ago. I joined up with the Fox forum and made many friends through Firefly. I wrote this story which was then posted on a firefly website but the original was lost and I thought I would re-write it. It's a silly fic really, but I so wanted to do it. There are the usual pairings hinted at…including Rayne._

_All characters belong to Joss. This is also un-beta'ed. I do check my work, but I always miss something out, no matter how hard I try._

_Do enjoy. _

_**Childhood Wishes **_

It was the loud wailing scream that woke Jayne Cobb up from his deep peaceful slumber. He bolted up right so quickly that the view of his room blurred through his tired eyes. Despite the fact he was still groggy, his instincts were alert.

He flung off the large blanket that had been covering him and turned to face his arsenal wall. There was a moment that didn't quite register to the merc, but it eventually dawned on him as he went to pick up Vera.

He couldn't reach.

"Huh?"

There was an awful sensation, a feeling of disproportion as he tried again to grab his beloved. He rubbed his eyes and saw that his room was a lot bigger than he was used to. He had to tilt his head back to look at Vera all gleaming and shiny on the top rung of his weapons rack and that made Jayne frown in confusion. If he was to get Vera down, he had to kneel…no stand on his bed to even touch her.

That made no sense at all. He could, in an emergency, snatch up a weapon of his choosing from a lying position and now it was impossible.

The scream came again and after his head snapped round and up to look towards the deck above, Jayne was confused even further. That scream was not from any member of the crew, it wasn't even any scream from a person he recognised. It had a very high pitched wailing sound to it.

Jayne had to act.

He jumped to his feet and grabbed once again for Vera.

Jayne used to be able to lift his favourite girl easily with one hand, but as he touched at the cool smoothness of Vera's metal body she didn't even budge. A sharp pang of worry and fear jabbed in his chest. Jayne looked down and saw that his hand looked strange too. It wasn't at all like his big strong hand that could snap a man's neck or break bones with a single punch; it was tiny, weak and his fingers were short and chubby.

"What the gorram…?"

Jayne jumped back in shock, his foot caught the edge of his bed and he went falling with a crash to the ground. The pain of the harsh metal floor was an agony so intense that to his horror, he started to cry.

Jayne Cobb doesn't cry just because he falls out of bed! He is a man who could take any sharp blow to his face and body in a fight. He had been shot and stabbed and he'd even had his own knackers kicked pulled and abused (hmmm some of them in a not completely horrible way mind) and not once did he cry. He yelled in a manly way and cussed as was expected, but never did he get all girly and start sobbing.

But here he was. Dazed on the floor and sitting naked on his blanket with tears trickling down his face. He was a wuss! How the gorram hell did that happen?

Jayne snarled, determined that he wasn't going to be such a soppy wet blanket and went to wipe the tears away from his cheek; but as soon as his fingers stroked his face another horrible problem arose.

The next scream came from Jayne. It was a scream loud and full of heart breaking agony, it was a full on wail of despair with tears running from his stinging eyes like a waterfall. His wide open mouth howled with anguish and it fuelled the tears on. It also didn't help with the stream of snot that trickled from his nose.

Not even the thudding on his bunk hatch stopped him from crying. The trauma was too much and even when the hatch opened he couldn't focus.

"I'm gonna kill YA!!"

The voice cut through Jayne's squalls and with panting sobs he starred in disbelief at the child standing above him.

The little boy could only have been three or four years old; he had a mass of sandy brown hair and was wearing a dark red shirt with beige pants, which were held up with black braces. However the long brown coat was far too big for the boy. It pooled around his feet and the sleeves must have been rolled back more than five times. The boy was angry, his face was flushed with red and the little nostrils of his nose flared just like:

"Mal?"

The name that came from his mouth wasn't in his normal voice. Jayne's deep husky and intimidating tones were replaced by a squeaky frightened sound, a sound that scared him beyond belief.

"This is your fault." said Mal Reynolds. In any other circumstances, the youthful pitch of his voice would have been funny, but Jayne didn't find any of this remotely amusing. "I don't know what exactly happened, but I know it was because of what you said!! This is your doing, your fault and I swear by the stretchy braces that are keeping up my pants, you will make this right!! Dong ma?"

It was Mal. The words were just what he would say, but it was too weird sounding in a child's voice. Everything was overwhelming, Jayne was trying hard to breathe from such an impossible situation, but the chaos and confusion churning in his (little) head was choking him.

"Mal? What's happenin'? Why can't I reach Vera? Why's ma beard gone?!"

"It's because of what you did!" snapped the tiny Captain. "Now, get something on! Then get up to the mess hall! You ain't the only one that's been affected by this!"

Jayne felt like crying. Mal's harsh and cruel words actually hurt his feelings and his bottom lip began to quiver. He watched with sore wet eyes as the little Malcolm Reynolds attempted to climb up the ladder to the hatch.

Mal cussed and swore as the long brown coat kept getting beneath his boots and through the hisses of Mandarin; Jayne knew that Mal was cursing him. Eventually the captain left and Jayne heard some loud thuds as Mal tripped up on his coat, no doubt falling flat on his face.

Jayne didn't understand why he had woken in this strange and impossible condition. He was just like Mal, reverted to the physical size of a four year old, reverted to a helpless weak kid that couldn't pick up a weapon.

Sobbing, Jayne gazed up at Vera still sitting on her rack and a keening wailed in his throat. He didn't realise that he had brought his hand up to his mouth, nor did he care that he slipped his thumb into it and started sucking. The sobs turned to cries again. He was alone, youthed and so scared. If Mal had said this was his fault, the others wouldn't take kindly to it either. He had no one.

Jayne screamed once again, his mouth full of thumb, dripping tears and oozing snot.

"I want my ma!!!"

* * *

_THUNK. THUNK. THUNK. _

The crew of the firefly Serenity may have been an odd and bizarre group of people to some, but that was nothing to what Mal Reynolds was looking at now.

There were no adults here. Only eight four year old children, all in various states of confusion, amusement and worry.

_THUNK. THUNK. THUNK._

Directly across from Mal, Inara was wearing a long red dress; a matching shawl was wrapped around her shoulders but like Mal's coat it seemed too big. Her long ebony black hair was in their usual curls all loose and trailing down her back, but she wasn't wearing make-up. To him, Inara still looked beautiful without it.

She was worried, but as she sat in the chair with her feet dangling over the edge, she poised with such grace and strength that it helped with his own anxieties. A little bit.

_THUNK. THUNK. THUNK. _

His merc was still trying to scramble up onto his chair. Why he hadn't put any clothes on and insisted upon coming to the mess hall in just his large blanket, Mal hadn't a clue. But it was amusing to see the little Jayne trying to get up, only tangling his feet and legs in the attempt.

"So what's going on?"

Mal heard the voice of his first mate, but instead he watched as the Shepherd waddled over to Jayne and placed his hands on the merc's bottom. He then pushed and aided Jayne to scramble up onto the chair. Once Jayne settled and arranged the blanket so his body was covered, he smiled fondly at the dark skinned boy.

Book scratched at his afro hair and grinned back at Jayne before jumping up onto the chair next to him. Out of all of the crew, Mal suspected that the Shepherd would be more comfortable and happy in this condition. Derrial Book was the eldest of the crew, a man well into his sixties and this was no doubt an opportunity to relive his younger days. The shepherd nodded towards Mal and then began to swing his legs from side to side.

"What's goin' on?" Mal didn't know how or even where to begin this "family" meeting. As far as he was concerned, this phenomenon wasn't possible. It was physically and inconceivably impossible, but he couldn't deny that it had happened. "I haven't a clue."

_THUNK. ._

"Well…we all now have the physicality of four year olds." said Simon, as he sat crossed legged on his own chair. He winced as a small piece of cereal grain flew across the room and hit him on the head.

There was a chorus of sniggers from Jayne, Wash and River, but he responded by sticking out his tongue.

"You bunch of boobs!" he sneered.

"Bunch of boobies!" Wash chirped up, sniggering again behind his hand. Jayne snorted with laughter too and then bunged another piece of cereal at the doctor.

"It seems that our physical appearances are not the only things that have changed." said Zoë nudging at her husband. Wash still laughing at Jayne throwing the cereal, gently stroked his foot against her leg in response.

"Will you tell that ape to stop throwing these things at me?!" wailed Simon as he tried to pick out the pieces that had fallen down inside his waist coat.

"Jayne. Stoppit." Zoë's stern voice to the merc made him snarl. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and crossed his arms over his chest, huffing with clear distaste.

_THUNK. THUNK. THUNK._

"I have retained all my medical knowledge and my memories. I'm assuming that everyone still has their experiences intact?"

Everyone nodded. Another cereal grain bounced off Simon's head, but he didn't notice, though he did wonder why the others, including the Captain, were laughing again.

_THUNK. THUNK. THUNK. _

_THUNK. THUNK. THUNK._

_THUNK. THUNK. THUNK. THUNK._

"Kaylee, will ya quit it?!" Mal yelled. "Yer makin' my head hurt!"

The ship's mechanic let her thumb slip out of her mouth and cradled the wrench she had been hitting on the table to her chest. She just grinned at her captain and rocked in her chair.

Mal noticed that Kaylee looked very sweet in her tiny dungarees and flowery grease stained blouse. Her feet were bare and her long brown hair just spilled in bouncing curls around her shoulders. Her cheery grinning face had a few grease marks smeared on to it, but she didn't seem bothered.

If Kaylee was cheerful as sunshine as an adult, it intensified a hundred times now that she looked four years old.

"We're behaving a little childlike though. I know we're really adults, but can anyone else resist…y'know…playin' around? " asked Zoë, stroking at her long single plat with both her hands. The rest of the crew certainly understood what she was trying to say as they all felt it too. They wanted to be serious and get to the bottom of this problem, but at the same time, there was this overwhelming desire to go and play.

In a very un-Zoë like way, the first mate began to roll her tongue all around the inside of her mouth, making her cheeks bulge out; then she crossed her eyes to see if she could touch the end of her nose with that very same tongue.

"This is just plain weird an' all, Captain." she said smiling when her wet tip stroked her nose.

"Can ya stick ya tongue right up yer nostril?!" asked Jayne, picking up another cereal grain from the bowl in front of him and lobbing it across the room. "I can! Look!"

"Ugh! I don't want to look!" yelled Simon. "And stop throwing the cereal at me!!"

"Make me, ya _ji bai_!"

"Jayne! Stop it!" shouted Mal.

"How many of these do you think we can stuff our noses?!" asked Wash picking from the bowl as well. The two "boys" laughed again and both reached out to grab handfuls of the cereal.

"No one is going to stuff things up their noses!" snapped Mal, slamming his hand on the table. "_Ay ya, tian ah! _We're not gorram kids! Can we please try and be the adults we really are?"

Everyone nodded sheepishly.

"How did we get like this?" asked Inara breaking the uncomfortable silence that had filled the room. "Who did it to us?"

"It is the work of beings from another world." said Book clasping his hands together.

"Huh?"

"Clearly nothing in our universe can make this happen."

"You talkin' bout spirits and fairies?!" asked Kaylee squishing her wrench against her as if it was a teddy bear "Oh that's so shiny!"

"I didn't mean it quite like that." said the preacher.

"I'm not thinking our situation is the workin's of mischievous elves and pixies either, Kaylee." said Mal, flapping his long sleeves on his coat as they slipped over his hands.

"But it could be fairies? Right?"

"I don't think so, sweetie." said Inara patting the mechanic's knee.

"So what could it be?"

"I'm thinkin' that it's the works of a big foul mouthed merc." sneered the Captain.

All eyes turned to Jayne.

"What?!" Jayne jumped back away from the table, nearly tipping his chair back. "Ya think I did this?! I ain't no ruttin' fairy!"

There was a snigger from next to Simon.

River had remained silent through all this conversation. She chuckled and laughed at their strange childish behaviours, but most of the time her wide brown eyes inspected with wonder at how large everything was. Now, as she chewed on the ends of her hair, she locked her stare onto Jayne as he tugged tighter at his blanket.

"Jayne with wings." she said, swaying. "Casting spells and dancing in his tutu!"

The laughter that followed was not at all hilarious to the naked boy and he angrily swiped his hand knocking the bowl of cereal to the floor. It took only one angry glare from Inara and then in an even bigger huff, Jayne slipped to the floor and began to tidy up his mess.

"Mal, I don't think Jayne or any of us are capable of something like this." said Inara.

"Darned straight!"

"The Lady on the moon." River's head flopped back and she stared at the ceiling in a daze. She giggled as she knew they were all looking at her in surprise. "The foul nasty words offended the Lady. She did it."

The last job they had had gone well and as it was the beginning of the settler's two week festival of music, the crew had stayed to take part in the celebrations. There had been lots of dancing, eating and more than a fair share of drinking. Mal suspected that Jayne may have upset the wrong person. Again.

"She's a witch!" said Jayne nearly ripping his blanket in half with an angry tug. "I knew it! She cast some witchin' spell on us all!"

"Witches aren't real." scoffed Kaylee, laughing a little before looking worried. "Are they?"

"Sure they are! We got one sittin' at our gorram table! No wonder the little Moonbrain took a likin' to that weird crazy woman! Crazy attracts crazy don't it?!!"

A high pitched whine keened and the crew all looked at the tiny River girl with concern. Her eyes were filling with tears, her bottom lip was trembling and her tiny little hands were clenching tightly at the folds of her light red dress. Then when it was clear that she couldn't keep in the hurt she felt from Jayne's words, she began to cry with all her might.

Simon and Inara immediately rushed to River's side and tried to settle her with hugs.

"Jayne! That was so mean!" snapped Inara. "Why on earth-that-was would you say such a thing?!"

"Because it's true!" Jayne snapped back, his face scrunched up in clear distaste as River's wailing sobs pitched even higher. "She's a gorram feng le witch that can melt a man's mind and…she's ruttin' flipped!"

"Stoppit!" Simon yelled. "You big deficient ape!"

"Defi-what?!"

"You are a monkey brained poop head!"

"What cha just call me, ya ruttin' _ji ba_?"

The screaming and the yelling continued. Everyone was trying to either calm down River and stop her from crying or were yelling at Jayne. Mal was definitely getting a headache with all this going on. River wasn't shutting up and neither was Jayne who as more people yelled at him, was getting just as upset.

"Why ya'll gangin' up on me?! It ain't fair!! Mal! Tell 'em to stop yellin' at me!"

"You made, River cry!" said Inara.

"Hell, it's not that hard to do!"

"Mal will you tell him to stop being a complete _bai chi?!" _

The pounding throbbing pain in his head was more than he could handle. Malcolm Reynolds slumped his head against the table and wrapped his arms around it in an attempt to block out the painful auditory attacks.

It got worse when Kaylee started crying, no doubt because she tended to get very attached and attuned to people, especially the youngest Tam sibling. Mal couldn't take it any longer; his head felt like it was going to explode.

"Wash!" Mal shot up from the table and jumped off the chair. When he landed he tripped on the hem of his coat, which sent him staggering into the kitchen counter. The pilot sniggered. "Dammit! Wash, take Serenity back to the moon! Do it soon and like…now! I want to be an adult again! And for the love of sanity and good peace…will all you sobbing nancies jus' shut up?!?!"

There was silence except for the little sniffles and sobs from the two girls and Jayne. Zoë went to Mal's side and helped him stand up straight. He may have the body of a child, but the expression on his face was all Captain. The man inside was getting gravely angry and frustrated at being so helpless.

"This ain't too great…is it, sir?" she asked as Mal hitched up the long trails of his brown coat.

"Not in the slightest."

"Do you have a plan on what you're going to do?"

"Plan? No. An idea…yeah. We're going to that moon to get the Lady to change us back."

"If it was her and if she can, sure. In the mean time?"

Mal turned and looked at his crew. Inara and Simon were still holding onto River, comforting her and soothing her out of her distress. Kaylee had picked up her wrench from the table and was now polishing it with the flowery sleeve of her blouse. Wash was nibbling on the cereal grains, looking at everyone with a cheery amused grin on his face and offering a few to the preacher next to him. Book declined, instead opting to touch at his fluffy hair and at the smooth skin on his face. Jayne, with the bed sheet completely wrapped around his shoulders was in a mood, there were tears in his eyes as well, but the angry pissed off expression was all too clear.

"In the mean time?" Mal breathed in a deep inhalation and heavily sighed. "Wash! Didcha not hear the "Gettin' us back to the moon, now" order I gave ya?"

"Oh! Right! Flyin' to the moon comin' right up!" The boy with the blinding bright coloured shirt clapped his hands together and slipped off his chair with a cool effortless ease. Then he did a strange little dance and strode out of the mess hall.

"Captain?" Zoë stepped aside as Mal then stormed past her. She caught hold of his arm, nearly pulling off his coat. "What are you going to do now, sir?

"I am going to do my Captain-y thing away from all this cryin' and childish behaviour!" said Mal, snorting at the others. "I'm gonna build myself a fort in the cargo bay!"

"Oooh shiny!" cried Jayne, beaming a huge hopeful grin. "Can I play?!"

TBC


	2. Forts, Facts n' Flyin'

_Author's note: Being as I got some good replies from folks, I decided to get this next chapter finished up as soon as poss. It's longer than the first, but that's kinda obvious, I just like to have those who read it, well…like it. Thanks for all those who let me know how much they liked it._

_Also, this not beta'ed. Any mistakes, I offer my humble apologies. And I do love Jayne....I think he's the best, I just love teasing him! _

_Enjoy._

_**Forts, Facts An' Flyin'**_

River loved being like this.

Everything was huge and wide, so open and innocent.

The family was all different now, they were like her and now they could all play together.

From her position up on the catwalk, she could see the Captain behaving in a manner completely unlike his normal self. He had somehow re-arranged some of the empty cargo boxes into a crude but adequate "fort", secluding himself off from the rest of the bay. Every so often, River watched his little head peek out over the top and duck back down. On the other side of the bay, Kaylee and Book were preparing to "attack" the fort, having fashioned weapons out of bits and bobs lying around.

"You won't take us alive, you gorram feds!" yelled Mal's voice from within his fort.

"Surrender now, Independent!" giggled Kaylee, thinking this was all so much fun. "You're surrounded!"

"NEVER!" yelped Zoe. For the first time River saw her head poke up from behind the boxes. She threw something that looked like a pair of balled up socks with great accuracy over fort's walls. River smiled in astonishment and wonder as the ball of socks soared through the air and landed by a pair of bare feet. She applauded the first mate's throw and ran down to join in the fun. As much as she enjoyed watching, the best part about being a four year old was joining in on the imaginary joys that adult life never indulged in. No serious issues, no dangers of real life. Just fun and laughter. It was great to be four years old again.

"KABOOM!" She cried, leaping from the metal stairs and landing elegantly on her feet. She twirled round and threw her hands up in the air. "Bits and pieces everywhere! You're dead!"

Jayne picked up the socks and chucked them at her. He growled with clear detest when River caught it with a single hand and waved it around in triumph.

"I ain't playin'." he moaned, getting up and moving away from River.

"Not any more, ya aint." Mal said, standing up from behind his fort and laughing. "You're dead."

"Why do I hafta die all the time?!" Jayne wailed.

"You get in the way of the bullets and grenades."

"They aint ruttin' real!" Jayne spat back, still tugging on his blanket. "It's a might convenient that these 'maginary bullets don't happen to hit none of you lot! This game is stupid! When the hell are we goin' t'get to this moon and get adult-ed again?"

"Don't worry." said Book patting Jayne on his bare back. "We'll get there, Wash is piloting and so in the mean time why not allow yourself to savour this moment. To relive our childhood isn't something that comes along every day. Consider it a blessing."

"Well it aint a blessin' when I'm picked upon and deaded all the time. I'm _never_ the one that gets shot! Mal is!"

"It's MY GAME! My fort and my rules!" yelled the Captain, throwing some balled up socks at Jayne.

"Stick ya stinkin' gorram rules! It ain't fair!"

"Since when have you ever cared 'bout things bein' fair?"

"Since it all happens t' me!"

"You seem certain we'll get back to our old selves, Shepherd." said Kaylee, as she gathered up a load of balled socks into her tiny arms. She ignored Jayne and Mal's shouting tantrum match and sat down next to the little shepherd. "I mean what happens if we stay like this for the rest of our lives?"

"Would it be so bad?" asked Book. "A chance at a second childhood surely couldn't be that bad, could it?

"Speak for yerself, preacher man." Jayne said frowning at River as she sniffed at the balled up socks in Kaylee's arms. "Weren't it a coupla centuries ago since you were this age?"

"That's exaggerating, son. I'm not that old." Book sighed. "But I must admit, I do feel good for being this young again."

"Hey! Are we still playin' here or what?!" yelled Mal, climbing over his box fort and strutting over to the other children. Such a strut would have been an impressive Captain-y strut if he hadn't once again tripped on the end of his large coat. "Gorrammit!"

The others laughed, even Jayne's mighty guffaws into his bed sheet roared through the cargo bay. Mal was not impressed. His face went bright red and he scrambled to get back on his feet. Zoe tried to help him again, but he shrugged her off.

"Why do you wear it, sir?" she asked. "It's obviously too big for you."

"I happen to like this coat…_dong ma_?!" Mal retorted, rolling up the sleeves again. "Its mine and its makes me look manly!"

"Sure! Fallin' flat on ya face is manly." scoffed Jayne. "An' hi-larious."

Mal went to grab for his gun, but there wasn't one on his belt. There hadn't been since he had woken up, his face smooched against the floor of his bunk. How could he be a Captain or have any respect from others whilst he was like this?

The fort and all this pretending was fun. He could have won the game, made the victory for the Independents, but who was he kidding? Really? Malcolm Reynolds was a thirty four year old not a four year old. He didn't want to remain like this anymore. River thought it a big shame.

Captain Daddy needed to relax a bit more.

She wondered over to him and stroked at his coat.

"I like it. Authoritive. Commands respect."

"Thanks." Mal puffed up his chest and put his hands on his hips, but that smile soon faded when River inadvertently let out a snigger. It was too big for him after all.

The nostrils flared and the jaw clenched along with his fists. River could see Jayne and the others trying to control their amusement. Well, Kaylee, Book and Zoe tried to, but the "toddler" merc was absolutely ecstatic seeing the tables turned. He wasn't being picked on.

"WASH!" Mal yelled, scampering up the stairs and tripping again. "Why aren't we there yet?!"

River twirled a length of her hair round her finger and then stuck it in her mouth. The Captain was conflicted and confused, just like the others but now his fun was over. The lure of make-pretend no longer held its sway over him. Well…that is until he gets to the bridge, he can't resist for long, being who he is now.

Jayne on the other hand was quite eager to carry on now Mal wasn't here.

"Zoe!"

Jayne rushed over to Zoe's side and River could see his face brightening up with pleasure at the boxed fort.

"Can I be on your side now?"

"Changed yer tune rather quickly didn't ya, Jayne? What happened to "this game is stupid?""

"Can I go in the fort? I wanna go in the fort!"

"Very well, but you tie that blanket securely round you, mind." said Zoe. "I'm not havin' that thing fall off mid-battle and then you bein' ….nekkid."

Jayne sidled up to the first mate. He leaned into her and even though he was four years old, it was impossible for anyone to miss the intentions behind the dirty smirk on his face and the glare in his shining blue eyes.

"You can wait for that t' happen when we're back to our normal selves, Zoe. The sight'll be much more interestin' don't cha think?"

"I very much doubt it." Zoe laughed knowing that Jayne was only teasing. Sure enough Jayne snorted with laughter and playfully punched her on the shoulder.

"Can we carry on playing?!" asked River, her hair falling from her mouth as she spoke. She nearly coughed on the individual hairs that choked at the back of her throat, but she managed to pull them out.

Yet, River wasn't worried too much about the hair.

She knew what had happened to them, they were like her now. With no way to control her emotions, she felt everything, at least now the rest of the crew were on a similar par. Children can't always bottle up their emotions and so the crying, tantrums and joy all came to the surface that much more easily.

Though with one, it was a little bit more so.

The strange sensations coming from Cobb was confounding. His mind was bombarding her with very adult feelings, very Jayne feelings. They were sexual, violent and even amusing but they were also of eagerness, joy and despair; memories of his home was so strong that it made her eyes stings. He longed for his ma and he longed to be back home playing on the ranch with his brothers. If Jayne's thoughts and feelings never bothered her before, then they certainly were doing so now. Jayne's dam was opening and releasing more than the others. Even Kaylee.

Kaylee came up to her and took hold of River's hand. River hadn't noticed she had lapsed from reality for moment, the bombardment from Jayne had zoned her out.

River looked at her friend and although she saw an even more delicate frailness in Kaylee, River was used to it from her. It made sense coming from her. Squeezing the mechanic's hand, River asked the first mate the question again.

"Can we _please_ carry on playing?"

"Yes, River." replied Zoe. "We can carry on playing."

"YES!"

The two little girls squeezed each other with heartfelt hugs. Whilst still holding on, they began to jump in circles laughing. Zoe, not wanting to be left out, went running up to them and then all three of them bounced round in a joyful jig. River was surprised at the first mate's girly manners, but then she figured that perhaps Zoe wanted to be one of the girls…to be the girl she once was and not a hardened Independent soldier.

Kaylee broke the jigging circle and immediately started giggling, running away and provoking the others to chase after her. River loved to run and the smile on her face showed that Zoe did too. They chased after Kaylee, whooping for joy and flapping their arms around so much, that none of them noticed the impatience of Jayne Cobb.

"Oi!" yelled Jayne from behind the fort. "Stop bein' sappy girls and lettus play at shootin' people up! Can we play cops n' robbers? I wanna play cops n' robbers! I'm the robber and I've jus' dun robbed this bank and ya'll be the pansy assed pussy lawmen that have t'try an' catch me. But ya can't cause ya….well yer pansies."

River smiled, during the girly running and jumping, she had been completely oblivious to the sounds of Mal's fort being reinforced. Jayne had done an exceptional job with Book's help and now it looked stronger, more defensive and there also appeared to be a makeshift flag made out of one of Wash's shirts. How he got hold of that, she didn't know.

River clapped her hands again.

"Not yet! We're still playing Alliance and Independents!" she cried. "The current game's parameters will be enacted as follows! You're cut off from the rest of your platoon and your rations have run out! You have to resort to cannibalism! Shepherd Book…Jayne you have to eat each other to survive."

"Huh?" Jayne looked at her as if she had just been hacked up from a diseased lung. "Who said that you was even gettin' t' play?! You make stupid rules up like that…you don't get t' join in!"

The sound of a hurtful whine sounded from River's mouth, tears pooled in her eyes once again. She couldn't help it.

"Aw heck…she's gonna cry again! Stoppit ya loony whacked out moonbrain! Yer ruinin' our fun!"

A barrage of balled up socks pelted the merc all at once.

* * *

"_You look pretty good to eat!" _

"_Not if I eat you first! Ha HA!"_

"_Argh! You told me you didn't eat meat, curse you and your lying tales!" _

"_Victory and dinner is mine! Mwa ha ha HAAAAA!" _

"_Oh god, no! Please no! Ahhhhh!" _

"Wash? Are we there yet?"

The two plastic dinosaurs fell from the little boy's hands and clattered onto the floor. Wash turned round and saw Mal stepping over the doorway, holding up his coat as a woman would lift her skirts to avoid tripping.

Wash chuckled into his hand and then wiped the drool escaping through his lips on his sleeve.

"It's all on autopilot, Cap!" he chirped, picking up a long stick by his side. Leaning forward and up, Wash then used the stick to flick the three unreachable switches above him. "Just about managed it, but for the landing, I'm going to need a bigger chair. I can't quite reach the controls properly."

"Nice. We can get a whole load of cushions and pillas to boost you up a bit. Will you be able to bare Serenity's weight? Not that my girl is heavy…"

"I'm a big butch of a…I'm a man, Mal. I think I can carry Serenity down. Done it enough times too, me thinks!"

"Well, right now, you're a four year old boy and problie not strong enough to…"

"Ah…right there with you, Cap. Well, maybe if you or Jayne could help out when its time to land?"

"I'll be here."

"_Bu lai_!" Wash got down from his pilot's chair and then got on his hands and knees to look for the dinosaurs he had dropped. Mal knelt down next to him to help. When they each found an individual toy, both the captain and pilot sat down on the steps, staring at the brightly coloured plastic.

"So…what ya playin?" asked Mal after a long drawn on silence.

"Dinosaurs."

"Ah."

"What happened to the fort?"

"Jayne's come back from the dead and taken over. He spoilt my game."

"Ah…bad Jayne for ruining the Captain's fun. So you wanna play dinosaurs instead?"

"What about flyin' my ship?"

"Autopilot….remember?"

"Okay…dinosaurs sounds shiny. Lets play."

"Great! I've got Rex and you can have Herbie."

"Rwoooor!"

"Rwoor? Captain…dinosaurs don't go rwooor."

"What do they go like?"

"They go like this: "Look at this land before us…it is green and fertile…it is good land. We can thrive here. Do dinosaur-y things.""

"Wash…dinosaurs don't talk."

"Fine! I'll do the monologue on my own! You just…."

"RWOOOOR!!!"

Wash sighed. The captain really didn't get the delicate intricacies of playing dinosaurs. River and Zoe liked it, but Mal didn't seem to have the right frame of mind for a game so involved. This was no shoot 'em up, hide behind your fort, game.

No. Dinosaurs are serious business.

* * *

He couldn't reach. At least not without a stool.

It didn't help when the only stool was on castors. Getting up on it to reach the more distant tools in his infirmary proved extremely difficult, as the high cushioned seat was indeed that and the wheels kept moving the stool in all the wrong directions.

When he finally managed to get up on the seat, the doctor was stranded for a few moments in the middle of the room, unable to grab hold of anything and wheel over to get what he needed. It was an annoyance and when he tried to shift the stool with tiny bum clenches and jumps, he nearly fell off.

"_Di yu! Wang ba dan!"_

"Do you require a hand, doctor?"

Simon looked round and saw Inara standing in the doorway smiling. The companion gracefully strolled into the room and lightly pushed the stool to the counter Simon was trying to get to.

"Thank you." he said, scratching at an itch on his cheek.

"You're more than welcome." Inara adjusted the large shawl around her shoulders and then leaned against the counter and peeked over the top by standing on tip toes. "It would be safe to say that you haven't found anything that could explain our predicament?"

"That indeed. All the crew's scans…well the limited scans this outdated piece of medical equipment can do….showed nothing that could even begin to explain what's happened to us."

"Be careful Simon." Inara slipped back down to her feet; her head slightly tilted to the side and a beautiful enchanting smile graced across her unpainted lips. . "Don't let Mal hear you insult his ship."

"I've asked for new equipment, perhaps next time he will listen to me."

"Perhaps."

"On the good side…." Simon pulled himself along, the wheels on the stool squeaking. "We're healthy as we can be, being four years old. There's no side effects other than our decrease in emotional maturity, so we're not dying or going to die…as far as I can tell. Its fascinating in some respects, but the fact is, I wouldn't know what to do to get us back. I'm hoping this Lady, or whoever she is, can return us to normal."

"I hope so too." said Inara. "I agree that it is interesting. The feelings I'm having are overwhelming. I have this huge desire to be with my mother, to have her hold me and hug me. I miss her so much, that I'm having difficulty in not crying!"

Simon saw the tears dripping down her face. He grabbed for some of the dry wipes on his medical counter and passed them down to her. Inara thanked him with a replying nose blow and a high pitch "thank you" muffled in with her sobs. The little sad squeaking noises continued for a moment but then she appeared to assert control over herself. After all companions, even at this young age in the temples, were given training on their feelings.

"I want my mummy. I want to bake cookies and cakes with her…" Inara sniffled and let out a sad little chuckle. "Which was strange as we never did that. In fact, I didn't know my mother that well. I can see her face, remember her smile…her voice…oh gods…I can't stop myself from crying!"

"Its okay Inara. We're all bound to have these uncontrollable emotional outbursts. We could cry, laugh or be angry extremely easily because the axons that send information from the cortex to the limbic system are not yet fully developed. The neurons of the prefrontal cortex that provide much of our rational control over our emotions do not mature until early adulthood. What I'm saying is being this young, we're not as able to control our emotions as we could as adults."

"Very doctor-y." said Inara catching the last tear from her eye with the corner of her shawl.

"I do have all my medical knowledge. I remember everything about my med school training, I know I can do my job, even the complicated surgery bits. I can do it better than most people in the core." Simon huffed heavily and then pushed the tray of surgical instruments away from him. "But I don't want to. I don't want to be doctor any more!"

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to go and play in the fort. Team up with the Captain."

"Jayne is in charge now." said Inara, sympathetically.

"He is?" Simon moaned and allowed his head to slump quite hard on the counter. "Ow."

The tears threatened to spill, but his mother had told him all those years ago, big boys don't cry. He really wanted to. He rubbed at his head where the hurt was, expecting blood, but there was none. But it really did hurt!

"He upset Mal, who went off in a huff and now Jayne has claimed the fort." said Inara patting assuredly at his leg.

"Perhaps it's not such a good idea I join them. He might take me captive and torture me."

"Or he might let you play." she said, her shawl slipping down off her shoulders. She adjusted her self and then checked that her hair was still okay.

Simon laughed sarcastically.

"That's a good one, Inara. Jayne letting me play his game. That's as likely as Jayne actually sprouting wings and becoming a fairy, like River said."

"There's no harm in asking him, Simon."

"We are talking about the same Jayne Cobb here, are we? Tall, mean, limited vocabulary and dinner manners that could equal a drooling chimp?"

"Everyone has their positive sides, even Jayne."

"Inara, he threw cereal at me, he called me names. He made River cry! Plus he's a big old mean…mean thing!"

Inara shook her head and then held out her hand to help Simon get down off the stool. The stool moved and again Simon nearly slipped off the wrong way, but once he was standing he thanked her. Though looking up at the massive infirmary he felt a little despondent.

"Jayne might let you play." Inara said again, holding out her hand. "Let's ask him."

"I don't want to play with him. He is a mean old baboon's bottom!"

"Technically he's the same age as all of us now. Come, Simon. Perhaps we both may be able to convince him."

Simon nervously took hold of Inara's hand and allowed the companion to lead him away from the infirmary. Even though she was four years old, Inara still had the graces of a lady, she appeared to retain more of her adultness than any of the others. She made a lot of sense too, if she asked Jayne if Simon could play, there may be a good chance that the merc would agree.

"Kaylee's there too." Inara whispered in his ear as they walked through the doorway.

"She is?!" Simon's spirits soared and his eyes widened in hope of spending some time with the ship's little mechanic. But it was the sound of her screaming voice…or at least he thought it was her voice, that caused a tearing sensation to rip in his chest.

* * *

"_Mu de lao tiān yě!!"_

Simon dragged himself free from Inara's hand and went running at full pelt into the cargo bay. At first all he could see was Kaylee, Zoe and Book standing by the broken fort, gazing with wide opened mouths at something on the other side of the bay. There was also the sound of angry yelling, combined with the most crudest, most infuriated mandarin phrases that anyone could have thought of.

But what really puzzled Simon was that mixed in with the shouting, there was the lilting sound of sing song giggling.

"He's not shy is he?" said Book, leaning on the top of the box.

"Jayne's never been the one for modesty." Zoe replied, covering her smirking smile with her hand. "Didn't doubt that he'd still be the same, even now."

"I bet he did this kind of thing when he really was four." said Kaylee, giggling. "Can anyone else jus' imagine lil' Jayne runnin' nekkid round his ma's house?"

"Avoiding bath time I would think." said Zoe.

Simon turned to look at what the others were staring at. The word "nekkid" rang horribly in his head like an alarm.

"Oh my!" Inara did a little double take before smiling. "It's a little nude boy."

The yelling did indeed come from Jayne, a very naked Jayne who was now blanket-less and chasing after the person who had stolen it. Simon's sister.

"Can't catch her! Run run as fast as you can! You won't ever catch her!" River twirled Jayne's blanket around her like a cape. "That'll teach you to make the girls cry! "

The little River Tam blew a raspberry before dancing away holding the billowing blanket up over her head. Inara clapped her hands and the did the same with her shawl, joining in with River and her dancing.

"River! Mei mei!" Simon ran forward, but instead he just collided with the boxes, knocking them to the floor and falling down after them. "Stop it, please! Give Jayne the blanket before something terrible happens! River!"

"It's all right, doctor." Book said helping him up. "It's just normal teasing. Boys and girls do that…"

"GIMMIE BACK MY BLANKET, ya 'kin _ren cha_!! I'm gorram cold!!"

"Go suck a grenade, _liúmáng!_"

"YOU FIRST!"

"Do you think if we threaten him with a bath, he might stop chasing her?" asked Zoe as Inara came to sit with them on the boxes.

"That was not funny, Zoe." Simon stammered, pulling at clumps of his hair in frustration.

"I thought it was."

"We'd better think of something." said Book. "I don't think the Captain would appreciate Jayne running round the ship with nothing on."

"Has anyone suggested to Jayne to actually put clothes on?" asked Inara, looking up to where the catwalks lead off to the crew's bunks.

"We never thought of that." Kaylee gasped. She jumped up and down flapping her arms in an excited way. "Oh! Hang on! We'll tell him!"

Kaylee patted Simon excitedly on the back and then picked up two rolls of what looked like some of Simon's socks that had gone missing a few months ago. Kaylee then threw both of them one after the other and they connected with Jayne's head and backside, making him pause in his chase.

"Hey Jayne!" Kaylee grabbed another ball and lobbed it at him again, just to make sure she got his attention. "You gonna go and put some clothes on any time soon? We don't all wanna be seein' ya jiji!"

"I need my blanket back!"

Jayne snarled, unable to ignore the fact that River had his blanket. He scowled at her, though his frown was laced with a desperate need for the blanket and the fury inside of him at seeing River teasing him like this was not helping at all.

"My clothes don't fit." he felt his fingers digging into his palms. "None of 'em do! When Mal asked me to the mess I tried puttin' on ma favourite shirt and pants, but theys was too gorram big! My undies don't fit…well the coupla ones I got anyways. My boots keep slippin' off…and that stick girl took my blanket!"

"She's not a stick!" River shouted, clearly offended by that comment and not the many other derogatory swear names he had called her.

"Too ruttin' hells y'are! I may right now be a four yer old shortie, but I could snap ya in half even with this tiny lil' fist!"

"Don't you dare, you meanie!" sneered Kaylee. She wrapped her arms around River when the high pitched keen whined from her lips again. Kaylee stroked at River's hair in an effort to soothe and comfort her.

"Well this is interesting." said Book, purposely trying to peer away from the boy who looked as if he was going to cry as well. "Everyone has noticed that the Captain's coat is a little too big for him, yes? As is your shawl, Inara. Were you wearing it when we were transformed?"

"I…" Inara touched and fondled at her favourite wrap, threading her fingers through the soft tassels. "No. I wasn't."

"I aint got shoes." said Kaylee. "My feet are getting a little cold."

"Our clothes obviously shrunk with us." Book continued. "Any we weren't wearing, remained in their adult sizes."

"Not just a pretty, face, are ya, shepherd?" Zoe patted Book on his head and briefly marvelled at the jet black bouncy-ness of his hair.

"I am an enlightened man. Or so I have been told."

"So Jayne wasn't wearing anything when we were changed?" Kaylee bit at her nails. "But it was in the middle of the day cycle! What were you do--? Oh…ugggh! Gross!"

"Yeah…will that put a tingle in yer nethers thinkin' on it later?" chuckled Jayne, striking a wide stance and crossing his arms over his chest. "You understand the John Thomas has shrunk too, it's not as impressive as it was."

"Jayne! Stop talking about your penis!" Inara shuddered and pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders. "Look, go and put a t-shirt on. I can help with the pants, by hemming the length of the legs and altering the waist. I'll do it for you as long as you cover up."

"You sure you'll be wantin' to touch his pants, Inara?" joked Zoe. Inara smirked, highly amused.

"I think gloves of some kind maybe in order."

"Oi!" Jayne wailed. "I wash 'em! I ain't a dirty smellin' tramp y'know!"

"He washes his clothes in the pretty soap. They smell like flowers…like a meadow full of flowers." River took a deep long sniff at Jayne's blanket, before throwing it over him. "I'm going to help Captain-daddy and Wash fly the ship. It is not practical or conceivable for a four year old to land Serenity. There will be complications."

Simon couldn't get a word in at all. He wasn't sure what he would say, but he watched with a gaping wide mouth as his little sister happily skipped off up the steps towards the bridge. The others couldn't say a word either, puzzled by the reactions of River and by their own curious behaviour.

"We have to get back to ourselves soon." said Simon. "I don't think I can take much more of this."

"Yeah…your sister is ten times more annoyin' now." sneered Jayne. "Her cryin' hacked me off and then she goes and steals my blanket. Crazy bint!"

"Clothes, Jayne!" cried Inara, giving him a slap across the shoulder. She began to push him in the direction of the crew quarters. "Goodness, please, for the love of Buddha, clothes!"

"Wantin' to get me alone in my bunk so soon, 'Nara?"

"Jayne! Ugh! No! We're children…how can you still be thinking things like that?!"

The merc shrugged his shoulders and wrapped his blanket around them, curling a corner of it around his hand. Simon also noticed that Jayne clutched his hand tightly to his chest, rubbing the material of his blanket over him.

He was just about to make a comment about it when suddenly the ship lurched.

The "children" were thrown off their feet and the unsecured boxes of the fort fell and slid across the floor. The screams were unusual coming from the crew members, but it couldn't have been helped when they all had the emotional thresholds of four year olds.

"What was that?!" wailed Kaylee, scrambling to her knees. Simon hurried over to her, feeling just as scared as she was.

"That'll be Wash trying to land the ship." said Inara pulling herself up by the stairs hand rails.

"Not an easy task according to River." the Shepherd added. "I think it would be good to go and lend Wash a hand. "

The Captain's young voice screamed out suddenly over the comm.

"_For any those of you who don't want to die in a blazing fiery death, I would suggest you all get up to the bridge. Like now!"_

"_In the meanwhile, here is a little music!" _

The ship began to shake once more, the screeching of straining metal as it approached atmo was a frightening sound and not even the plinky plonky music playing on the speakers did much to calm the crew. Except one.

"That's my baby." Zoe dreamily sighed. "So thoughtful."

"He couldn't have picked any better music?!" grunted Jayne as they all scampered up the stairs using their hands to keep them steady. "This damned noise makes me wanna kill myself!"

"Feel free to do that any time you want." Simon mumbled.

"Quit it, _shi dan_!"

"What are you going to do, Cobb? Tell your mum on me?!"

"Too ruttin' right I will!"

The ship lurched again and before Jayne could even get into a crying fit about wanting his ma, Kaylee began to sob rather loudly. Inara and Zoe were about to remain and comfort her, but Simon shooed them away.

"It's okay. Go help the captain and Wash."

The others carried on ahead and so Simon was able to wrap his arms around Kaylee's shaking form.

"Serenity needs me!" sobbed the little girl, smearing the back of her hand at her nose. "I gotta see that she's okay!"

"Then let's get to the engine room." he suggested, stroking at her hair.

Serenity seemed to call out to Kaylee. She cried for help by jerking violently, tipping onto one side and then lurching over to the other. The two children were squished and thrown against the railings and would have fallen down into the cargo bay if Simon hadn't grabbed hold of the metal step. Kaylee was getting more frightened, the tears were dripping and soaking her flowery shirt. Simon was scared too, his body was shaking and trembling so much.

Serenity bucked again, catching them off guard. They screamed, but that didn't stop Serenity, she couldn't keep still or level and the wobbling movement was beginning to make Simon's stomach churn.

There was a long metallic screech and that upset Kaylee even more, as to her it felt like Serenity was crying as well.

"I can't help her!" she sobbed. "She needs my help, but I can't do it Simon! I'm too little! How am I goin' to reach her panels? How am I goin' to be able to do anythin' for her? I have tiny gorram hands!"

She let out an "eeek" squeal as there was another jerk.

"_Sorry, that was my fault!" _Wash's voice apologised over the comm system.

"I'll help you and Serenity…if you'd like." said Simon, taking hold of her hands and giving them a big squeeze. "We might be able to do something for her, together?"

"Really?!"

"Really."

Serenity levelled off, not only because of Wash's gentle prompting at her controls but for Kaylee, it seemed Serenity heard. She welcomed their aid.

"Oh Simon! You sweetie!" Kaylee flung her arms around him and nearly throttled him with the hug. Then she ripped herself from his grasp and got to her feet, dragging him along behind her. Her tears were already forgotten. "Let's go, 'fore the Cap'ain starts yellin' at me that I'm not doin' my job! Common Simon! Move!"

Simon allowed her to pull him along. They ran, hand in hand towards the engine room, but when they got there, the huge spinning heart of the ship looked ten times bigger. It also looked dangerous and was no place for a child.

"Aw _go se_!" whined Kaylee. "I ain't goin' in there!"

* * *

"Who's flyin' this gorram ship?!?!"

Jayne lurched and slipped onto the bridge, tripping on the edge of the doorway only to see a very bizarre set up in the two forward pilot seats.

A whole bunch of cushions and pillows had been duct taped to the chairs. They were padded on the back and on the bottom, to give Wash and Mal the maximum lift and forward extension. Seeing both the Captain and pilot squashed together on, probably now, the most softest and most comfortable chair on the ship, was bizarre.

They were secured by the crisscross safety harness, their heads poking out from the sides, both of them gripping each side of the flight controls and trying with all their little toddler might, to keep Serenity level.

"Jayne help out! Don't just stand there!" cried Mal, grunting with more effort to pull back the controls. Wash was trying as well, but at the same time he was also bobbing his head in time to the plinky plonky music.

"Help me!"

Jayne saw in the second pilot chair, again puffed up with pillows and cushions (they had this many on Serenity?!) the one person he didn't particularly want to sit next to. River was trying to assist the "boys" by patching in the secondary controls as well, but it wasn't even budging. She was using a stick to prod unreachable buttons and flick switches, yet still Serenity was careening through atmo at terrifying speeds.

"I aint ruttin---!"

"Out my way!" Zoe shoved him aside and slipped in beside River. Securing the harness around the both of them, the first mate then took hold of the right side of the flight gear and with River, she began to pull.

"We makin' any difference, honey?!" asked Zoe, as the flight stick began to steady.

"Your help always makes a difference cup cake!" Wash replied. "Though we're going a little too fast!"

"I'm onnit!"

Jayne tied his blanket round his waist and then using the chairs behind the pilot seats, he climbed up and swung from the ceiling to flick the necessary switches. Serenity was still rocking and tipping, she wasn't making it any easier for the tiny crew. Her speed did slow, but only a little bit.

"Keep it steady!!!" yelled Jayne, swinging like a monkey above Mal and Wash's head.

"We're trying!" Mal yelled back. "We're not quite strong enough!"

"Is there anything we can do?!" asked Book as his little feet skidded on the ground. The ship rocked. He gripped onto the back of Wash's chair to steady himself, though the turbulence still made him slip.

"Just keep yourself safe, Shepherd." said Zoe. "You and Inara can go and strap yerselves safe in the back!"

Inara and Book didn't make any objections, they hurried away, leaving Mal and the others to try and get the ship safely down. Through the rushing noise and the straining cries from Serenity, Wash's music continued to play.

"This may have to be a crash landing, folks." Wash chirped happily, even though his face and Mal's were scrunched up under the strain they were under.

"Crash landing?! We're goin' to crash my ship?!?!" Mal wailed. "No! I don't wanna crash my ship! Please tell me we can do something about the not crashing?!"

"I ain't dyin' whilst hanging up here neither!" cried Jayne as he released one hand from his hold on the ceiling to push a button. He pushed others and alarms instantly came blaring through the little speakers. He lost his grip

"Shit!"

He landed on flight panel and slid off to ground with a thud. His crying sounded in time with the music, then Kaylee's voice added to the mixture of chaos.

"_That's all I can give ya!" _the mechanic's voice shouted over the comm. _"It's all down to you guys now! Please be gentle with her, Cap'ain! Wash…don't hurt her, please?!" _

"I'm doin' the best that I can, lil' Kaylee." Wash called back. "This ain't easy!"

"We'll be okay!" said River, "So will she! Promise, Kaylee!"

"Jayne, quit cryin' ya baby!" Mal snarled. "Yer not helpin'!"

"It hurts!"

"Men and Jayne…could we please concentrate on not gettin' ourselves killed?!" snapped Zoe.

"I'm not gonna let my ship get crashed!" Mal grimaced.

"Okie dokie! You're the captain!" Wash gave him the thumbs up, his hand releasing from the controls made Serenity jolt violently. There was a thud followed by a "_made!" _and then more crying.

So the four of them worked on it. As much as four year olds could do.

It was not an easy ride, nor did it do much for people's stomachs.

As the music played, the fears and terror of Serenity's children intensified when the moon's dusty earth rushed closer towards them. Things broke, things were thrown up and over, parts flew off and they burned. The ship coursed to the moon at a dangerous and steep angle, a nose dive heading straight for a fiery explosion.

"Pull up! Pull up!" yelled Jayne, peeking his head up to look out of the front window. "Pull up now gorramit!"

"We're tryin'!"

"Try harder! Try harder!"

"You wanna scream and flail like a little girl or help?!"

Jayne scrambled up and hauled himself to Mal's side. Propping himself in place with his feet against the console, he placed his hand just above Mal's on the controls and pulled back.

"Is it working?! Is it working?!"

No one got to reply to the merc. The impact was hard.

There was an almighty explosion.

_TBC…._


	3. Plans, Plasters n' Puke

____

__

_Author's Note: Not really sure what to think about this one, some of it I do like but at the same time there's something here that I just can't quite get a finger on. But any hows, I hope you likes. _

_**Plans, Plasters And Puke**_

"Honey? Sweetie? Are you okay?"

Mal felt a warm smooth hand stroking at his cheek and at his hair. Gentle soothing shushes whispered to him and all over him was a soft sensation of a comforting blanket. He was in bed, a proper soft bouncy bed with a real springy matrice! It had been a long time since he had been in a bed as comfortable as this and right now he wanted to snuggle beneath the blanket and go back to sleep. Instead he stuck his thumb in his mouth and patted the empty space beside him with his hand. He couldn't find him.

"Sweetie…can you hear me?"

He could. There was also crying and a strange whining noise in the back round that he couldn't quite make out. Mal was still trying to feel for something at his side but the lack of a successful find was beginning to make him anxious and a little upset.

"Honey? Don't try and get up too quickly…rest."

"Ma? Is that you?" Mal tried to open his eyes, but his vision blurred. He rubbed his eyes to get them clear and let out a yawn. "My head hurts an' I can't find him! I can't ever sleep without him."

"It's okay my dear,you've had a nasty accident. There was a crash, but luckily you and your friends escaped with only minor injuries. A broken arm on the angry one is the most serious. You have nothing to fear, sweetie, I'm here to look after you. Now, who are you looking for?"

"My bear! Pa gave it to me 'fore he died. Can't sleep with out him." Mal smiled and held out his hands for a hug. "But I'm glad you're here, mommy. I know you'll look after me."

There was a light amused laugh and instead of receiving a hug, all Malcolm Reynolds got was a pat on the head.

"Honey…I'm sorry. I'm not your mommy. I'm just a nurse here at the infirmary."

_Oh go se! No!_

Mal bolted up right in his bed and after his head stopped spinning he could see that he was in a small town's medical infirmary. It had a few pieces of sophisticated Alliance equipment dotted about (how these people got hold of them, Mal hadn't a clue.), and the room of beds was far nicer than any settler's moon could afford, but it was homely rather than horribly dank and depressing.

The state of the art facility wasn't, however of great importance. Mal and the rest of his crew were still four year old children and it wasn't a nasty dream.

It was real and immediately his stomach became riled with sick as he vaguely recollected what had happened to Serenity.

His ship! They had crashed her trying to land in their bizarre conditions, but it hadn't worked as well as he had thought it would. There had been an explosion, fierce buffeting and shaking. Lots of screams, including his own, had rung in his ears before the horrible bout as Serenity impacted with the ground. He remembered seeing Wash's dinosaurs fly up and hit him in the face, before he blacked out. Mal couldn't recall what else happened.

He was however grateful that he and the other members of his crew weren't actually dead.

The nurse who he thought was his mother, was a large woman wearing a white nurses uniform (looked lot like an Alliance one) and on the collar there was a small watch dangling from a clip and a pen stuck out from the short brown curls of her hair. She was not his mother.

There were other nurses in similar clothing and one doctor who was wearing a suit very similar to one Simon had when he first came aboard Serenity.

This place was a bizarre mix of Rim and Core that couldn't be found anywhere else in the verse and that meant there was only one place he could be. The Lady's Moon. Well of course that's where they were, they were trying to get back to them normal selves. Naturally the Lady had to be responsible.

Mal's attention went from this strange staff and settled on the rest of his crew. This was no dream, it was a nightmare as they weren't making it easy for the nurses. They were being quite childish.

Wash and Zoe were laughing and giggling together and had apparently stuck a massive load of band-aids all over each other's faces, arms and anywhere the damned things would stick which included the bed, walls and even on some of the staff.

Kaylee was holding on for dear life at a cortex console, even though she had dismantled most of it and a small junior nurse was desperately trying to pull her away from it. The woman had her arms wrapped around Kaylee's legs and waist, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not get the mechanic to release her grip.

"Please let go, honey." the woman pleaded.

"NOOOO! I ain't finished!"

"Let go!"

"NO! I don't wanna!"

That was not as bad as what three other nurses were going through. The women were trying to calm down a very distressed River. The littlest girl with scruffy hair and freckles was throwing anything and everything she could get her hands on at the medical staff, screaming and refusing outright to be examined. Mal didn't blame her, especially after what she went through at the academy.

Along with River's piercing screams, Kaylee's cries of defiance and the sounds of objects crashing and hitting things, Mal finally identified the even louder screaming and it was coming from Jayne. It was a peculiar mixture of anger and agony and Serenity's mercenary never cried like a girl when he was feeling either.

"If ya ain't gonna dope me up no more, then git me a whiskey or a beer that'll help me pass out gorrammit!"

Mal leaned forward to watch Jayne sitting on the end of a bed, crying his eyes out and snarling at the same time, whilst a nurse was trying to tend to his broken arm. His legs were kicking wildly and the poor nurse had to duck and weave to avoid being caught. She wasn't doing a very good job as Jayne was pretty accurate and vicious.

"I need a pop to dull the pain!" Jayne yelled, "It hurts!"

"We can't give you any more! Please keep still!"

"It ruttin' well hurts! _Ta shi suoyou diyu de biaozi de ma_!"

The woman looked shocked and such a reaction got her a kick on the shins.

"Young man! How you learn such language?"

"Cuz it gorram hurts ya daft bint!"

Eventually the woman stormed off complaining that she had never been treated so poorly in her life and that Jayne was a demon child no one should have to suffer with. Mal couldn't help but agree and actually wondered how the Merc's ma ever put up with him. He had to ask the woman the next time they…(if they ever!) rested back on Jayne's home world.

"Your arm is broken!"

Mal saw Simon standing directly next to Jayne, trying to offer up his medical services. The core boy looked roughed up; he had a plaster on his cheek, his clothes were covered in dust and dirt, but he was still trying to be doc he had always been. Jayne was not pleased about Simon standing so close to him.

"No shit!" Jayne yelled back, sniffing to make sure the long trail of snot didn't drip on the floor. When it wasn't going to work, he smeared his good arm across his nose. Simon shuddered in disgust. So too did the nurses at the language Jayne used.

"You are four years old!" Simon continued, mainly because he was wanting to show off to the medical staff around him, but they ignored him completely. "Your ability to cope with pain is not as affective as it was as an adult."

"I'm four years old? No ruttin' way!" Jayne hissed venomously through his crying and he kicked out his legs. The tip of his bare foot came very close to kicking Simon in the kidneys "No way! I'm not four gorram years old! I need something to pop! If those damned medics don't wanna do it, then they can ruttin' well gimme several shots o' whiskey like my ma use t' gimme!"

"That would explain a lot about you." Simon snidely remarked.

"Hey! Don't go dissin' me ma! She's a good woman! If I'm four years old, then you an' me are buddies! Bein' as that is as likely as havin' a gorram Reaver over for tea and fancy cake…get me a gorram beer!"

"You're being a baby!" said another nurse, pointing a finger at Jayne to tell him off. "And you're just wantin' attention! Stop cryin' and be a big boy whilst we put your arm in cast!"

"I can be a big boy!" Jayne said, his screams changing to barely controlled sobs as this new nurse, more attractive, beckoned over the doctor. Jayne wiggled his eyebrows in an attempt to be extremely suggestive. The nurse was not impressed.

"Can I put on his cast?" asked Simon as the doctor came round to introduce himself to Jayne. The man smiled and patted his head in an extremely patronizing manner. Yet the man did only see a child and not a twenty something genius.

"I'm sure I can handle this. After all I am a real doctor. You're too young to be one."

"I am too a real doctor and I'm qualified!" Simon cried as the man examined Jayne's injury. "I know how to do a lot of things! I re-attached a girl's whole leg once! I was top three percent of my class on Osiris!"

"Sure you are son." said the man, completely disbelieving Simon, again. The "little doc" pouted. "Now why don't you step back and let us do this for your friend."

"We ain't friends!" said Jayne adamantly.

Simon nodded his head in agreement.

"We're really not." he replied.

Mal turned his attention away from Jayne and Simon, briefly as the crying River evaded capture from the hospital staff. She screamed a high pitched wail that could have burst ear drums and scrambled to find a safe hiding space beneath Cobb's bed.

"Oh hell no! Git that _feng le _girl out from under here!" yelled Jayne swinging his legs again. "Crazy! Move 'fore I come in there and drag ya out by your god damned ruttin' hair! Don't think I won't!"

Jayne never got the chance to carry out this threat as River peeked out from underneath the bed and jabbed something hard into the merc's leg. There was an almighty yelp followed by a long stream of mandarin swear words that shocked all the medical staff and brought the crew of Serenity to a grinding halt in their childish antics.

Zoe and Wash stopped using up the facilities supplies of sticky plasters, Kaylee stopped trying to latch herself to the computer system and from just beyond the little ward, Shepherd Book's head poked out through the doorway.

"Oh my…can a person do such a thing like that with fish?" asked Book.

"I wouldn't know, preacher." said Mal as the Shepherd trundled over to his position. "Though I'm worried my mind is actually considerin' which would be easier, a fish or a cattle prod?"

The swearing finally came to an end when Jayne passed out and all the staff were able to tend to his arm. Putting on a plaster cast was fascinating stuff, in fact the procedure drew the crew around Jayne's bed, even Mal hopped off his own and trundled over to climb on the edge.

Simon explained all the steps the doctor was performing and commented on how good they were actually doing. River nodded along in agreement and was smiling as she clung to Wash's arm.

When the cast was completed, the "adults" dispersed and left the crew on their own so they could clear up the mess made around the facility.

"You doped Jayne?" asked Zoe as River bounded up onto the bed and over the merc's legs. "River, you heard what them docs said, it might have been dangerous for him."

"Not really. At best it can cause vomiting." she replied, shifting over as Wash plonked himself down next to her. "Their calculations were wrong. Jayne's current physiology was capable of sustaining a further dosage. Though additional shots are not recommended, Jayne sick going everywhere would be most unpleasant."

"Least he stopped cryin' anyways." said Kaylee.

"What are we goin' to do now, sir?" asked Zoe. They all looked eagerly to Mal.

Mal really didn't know. He was badly wanting a hug, preferably from his mother but Shadow was no where near this moon and neither was his ma. Whilst he was thinking on it, Wash, Zoe and River decided to grab some more little blue plasters and then they proceeded to stick them all over Jayne's unconscious body. They started laughing and sniggering.

"Stick one on his nose!" said Book, waving a finger and then pushing forward to poke the end of it.

"Not over it, Wash!" Zoe exclaimed. "He's gotta breathe!"

"Does he have to?" Simon piqued up. Everyone looked at him with shocked expressions. "I was joking! Honest!"

Kaylee didn't look pleased at all and then tugged lightly on Mal's arm to get his attention.

"Cap'ain, I managed to get into the system on the computer." she said. "Serenity survived the crash."

"She did?" Mal squeaked happily, clapping his hands with joy. When Kaylee's head bobbed acknowledging the question, both the captain and engineer hugged each other with heightened giddiness.

"She's bein' repaired by this town's engineers. It's gonna take a while, 'specially with the celebrations still goin' on an' all. 'Parently on the last night there's a big party, bigger than all the others what we saws. We could stay here and join in while Serenity's bein' repaired…right? I mean…can we, cap'ain? Please? PLEASE?"

"All right! Ya don't need t' beg!" Mal replied. "I wanna stay for the party too! It's gonna be great!"

"Children! How could you do that to your friend? Take them off him this instant!"

The nurse who had spoken to Mal came rushing over, and made sure every last blue plaster was detached from the sleeping boy's person, before shooing all the giggling crew off Jayne's bed. Mal couldn't help but laugh as he ran away and he leapt onto his own, bouncing with elation. Everyone else followed him and it was only when the hysterics died down, did Zoe notice something.

"Hey! Where's 'Nara?"

Mal's jaw dropped. Tears swelled uncontrollably in his eyes when Inara's absence finally dawned on him. Yes he had been worried about his other woman, but as he frantically looked about the ward, his fear and anxiety increased when there was no sign of the Companion. Mal's bottom lip started to quiver, but before he could start crying, a little hand rested on his shoulder and Book's very youthful face gently smiled back at him.

"It's all right, Captain." he said softly. "She's fine. There was a little incident during the crash, so she needed to take a bath."

As if on cue, through the door, the woman (or rather the little girl) herself came gliding in. She was wearing a flowery dress with sandals and her hair was wet, dripping water onto the back of her dress and on the floor. She certainly didn't look like she came from Shinon, but she was beautiful.

Feeling a sensation far beyond relief, Mal rushed over to her and gave her such a huge crushing hug that she had to whack him on the back several times in order to get him to let go. She gasped and coughed a couple of times but blushed when she saw all the crew giving her and Mal sweet dopey eyed gazes.

"Aww." Wash took hold of Zoe's hand and swung it merrily back and forth. "He was all concerned for her."

"Hey! I'm just lookin' out for my crew, is all!" denied Mal, even though his face had gone bright red as well.

"Sure, Cap." The pilot bobbed his head. "Do I get my hug now?"

"Ya get a punch in the arm if you're not careful, Wash." Mal hissed to the sniggering boy. He turned back to Inara, both of their face's showed no signs of ceasing blushing and although they faced each other, Mal couldn't quite look her in the eye. He scratched the back of his head and stared at his foot as it scuffed on the floor. "Glad yer all right, 'Nara."

"Thank you, Mal. I'm pleased that everyone is as well. Is Jayne…?"

"He got his arm broke in the crash. He was makin' a fuss so River doped him."

"Oh?" Inara's eyes widened in astonishment and then she smiled sweetly when River waved at her from behind Simon's back. Inara waved back. "What about Serenity?"

"Uh…Kaylee says she's under goin' repair." Mal eventually caught Inara's eyes with his and found he couldn't look away. "So we're gonna stay until she's ready."

"We're gonna to stay for the rest of the festival?" gasped Zoe, breaking the two's rapture. The first mate stood between the two of them, wrapped an arm round their shoulders and bit her lip in anticipation.

"Er…sure we are." said Mal squirming a little to get out of her hold. "Wouldn't miss out on a mighty fine shindig, right, Nara?"

"It sounds a wonderful idea." agreed the Companion.

Zoe squealed in delight and hugged both of them really hard, before dragging them up onto the bed. She waved for everyone else to join them, but seeing Zoe so excited like this was a little startling. Wash sighed and snuggled up next to her on Mal's pillow. He was the only one who wasn't startled, he was pleased to see his wifey like this.

"We're going to get out of here." Zoe lowered her voice to whisper. "I'm not wantin' t' stay here for long."

"They're not going to let us go so easily." Book added, scratching at his bouncy afro. "They think we're children and won't allow us to roam this town without supervision."

"So, what we needs is a plan." said Kaylee.

"Preferably not a Jayne plan that involves any one of us getting nekkid." added Wash. There was a consensus to that, even though the temptation to go running about the facility in the all-togethers was on everyone of their minds.

"So, who's got suggestions?" asked Mal. Six of the children huddled together and all began talking in hushed voices, though Inara leaned over towards Shepherd Book. Her fingers shyly coiled with his and Book gave back a gentle squeeze.

"You have nothing to worry about, Inara." he said softly.

"I do." Inara mumbled with a saddened whine. "I have not done that since I _was_ this age! It wasn't dignified in the slightest! I had to take three baths before I felt clean. I don't… I don't…do I smell preacher?"

Book cupped her hand with both of his and patted her fingers.

Derrial Book looked to be a very cheeky and mischievous four year old, almost as much as Jayne and Wash did, but beneath that crazy amount of jet black hair, his eyes showed all the wisdom and compassion that the Shepherd possessed. It was comforting and extremely reassuring.

"You smell like roses, Inara."

"Thank you." Inara pulled her hand out from the hold and gave him a hug.

"Are you with us?" Mal nudged at Inara's back. She pulled out of the embrace and after she wrung some of the water from her hair, she lightly nodded. "Right…this is what we're going to do…"

"Captain." Simon held his hand up. Mal sighed and folded his arms.

"Doc, you gotta problem with 'Lee's idea?"

"Not at all. I think it's a great plan." Kaylee clasped her hands together and made a happy "squee!" noise. "I have a question though. Are we bringing Jayne along with us? He could be out for a number of hours with the drugs in his system."

"You suggestin' we leave him behind?" Mal rose an eyebrow as the benefits of escaping without having to drag Jayne behind them, filled his thoughts. Simon's lack of an immediate no got him a slap across his chest.

"No, bad ge ge!" River scowled at him. "We leave no one behind!"

"We could always come back for him?" Simon said.

He got another slap. It was harder this time.

"Fine, forget I said anything." he moped. Simon glared at his sister. "You brat."

River stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry.

It was decided right there and then, by the youngest member of the crew, that they wouldn't leave the merc behind. They had to stay for longer before they put Kaylee's plan into action.

_______

* * *

_

Jayne woke up and it wasn't to the best sight in the world.

She was sitting cross legged on the end of his bed, staring at him. There was a throbbing pain in his head and the broken arm in his brand new cast was bugging him something chronic. That tight hardening plaster, he could deal with, Jayne had coped with numerous injuries in his life, but her?

"You stuck that needle in me." he groaned through clenched teeth. "You doped me?"

River nodded. The lack of any further response made Jayne angry. He scooched up in his bed and looked round to find some kind of weapon that he could use. There wasn't anything except his pillow.

Jayne pulled it put from behind him and flung it at her with all the strength he could with his weaker arm. She didn't try to catch it or defend herself from the throw, well not that a pillow could damage her much. The impact of it on her face caused the girl to choke out a sob and for a moment, for an extreme and brief second, Jayne thought she was going to cry.

"If ya gonna start bawlin' git off my bed, Moonbrain!"

"Shan't!" River sniffed loudly and rubbed at her eyes before wrapping her arms and legs around the pillow.

"Get off before I throw ya off!"

Her eyes rolled as she was clearly unimpressed with his lack of originality in his threats. River shook her head and tilted it to the side, listening and waiting for…what? Jayne squinted and even mimicked her as she tipped her head slowly from either side.

"What?" he snapped. River shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm waiting."

"Huh?"

River held up a finger and just a simple gesture made Jayne clamp his mouth shut. Why he did that just because she stuck her finger up in the air, Jayne wasn't sure. He suspected the girl wanted to say something, but her continuing silence and annoying (and creepy) glaring only made his angry eyes widen and his face redden. Jayne tried to speak or throw an insult at her, but River pointed the finger at him and Jayne's mouth clamped shut once more. It happened a few more times and every time it did, it incensed him. His head hurt more and Jayne actually thought his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets.

The feral growl was rumbling within him.

"Hey! Yer up!"

Jayne heard Kaylee's happy greeting and he heard the others meander around his bedside but he couldn't turn his head. That finger was all he could focus on.

"Jayne! We got ourselves a shiny plan for getting out of here!" Kaylee said. "We're gonna go and enjoy the rest of the festival!"

His eye twitched, the corner of his mouth wanted to smirk at the excitement of a party (beer, whores and music!) but the Moonbrain was still staring at him in that infuriating manner.

"River, honey?" Inara gently touched at her arm. "What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting. I believe I may have erred."

Erred?

River held a silencing finger up in the direction of the others, hoping that they too would keep quiet and still. They did. She kept her other finger up for Jayne but he focused more on the tiny girl's frustration in her eyes and less on the finger and the cute little freckles on her nose. She was angry at something?

He didn't understand why she was angry, when she had been the one who stabbed him-_for the second time, thank you!-_and doped him up!

A curious churning sensation stirred in his stomach, no doubt because of his being pissed off at the brat. He had enough of looking at her, so he snarled a detestable grimace at River and decided to turn his attention to the crew. His mood wasn't helped when Simon filled his vision.

"You okay? You look a little pale." Simon waved his hands in front of Jayne's face.

Jayne didn't say anything.

"Ooh! Can we sign your arm?" asked Wash, pointing excitedly at the smooth and pristine white plaster on Jayne's arm.

"You gonna draw rude stuff onnit?"

Wash looked to the others and then bit on his thumb as he tried to think of the right answer.

"Erm…ye-ah?"

"Shiny. Sure I'll let ya! You gonna draw a woman with the big-?"

Unfortunately for Jayne, he never got to finish his sentence as the stirring within his stomach became sickening bile that suddenly and violently spewed from his mouth. Wash having seen the way Jayne had leant forward and over to the side, had smartly moved out of the way. Simon, who should have moved as well, didn't. The vomit splattered all over his shoes.

"UGH! Gross!" squealed Kaylee and Inara at the same time.

"I erred. It is probably best that he does not have any more shots."

River sighed and jumped off the bed. She gave Jayne a sympathetic look before she then left her brother gasping, with horrified breath, at the foul stench and the oozing puke dripping over his shoes.

Mal groaned.

It seemed that they weren't going anywhere just yet and that was something he did not like at all. Nor did he like the crew's behaviour; they weren't kids for Buddha's sake! They were adults and it was about time they all started behaving like one!

Tears began to pool in his eyes. Whilst the others all exclaimed loudly at the grossness of Jayne's vomit being everywhere, Mal slumped away and found the nurse who he had seen upon his awakening.

"Miss?" Mal tugged on the hem of her dress. The woman knelt down to his level.

"Yes, sweetie?"

Mal really couldn't stop himself. The flood gates opened.

"I want my ma!"

________

tbc


	4. Beers, Brawls, Whores n' Straws

_Author's note: Next chapter for my Childhood Wishes firefly fic. I must say I had a great time writing this and I think this is one of my best from the story so far. But then that's my opinion. This HAS been beta'd by the wonderful SunshineAli (thankyou!) though any mistakes are mine not hers! _

_This chapter was not only fun to write because of Wash, but this also shows some pre-Rayne which makes me happy no end! _

_The speech in italic, unless done so already, will eventually be translated into Mandarin. _

_Enjoy. _

**

* * *

**

**Beers, Brawls, Whores An' Straws. **

"THAT was it?" Jayne snarled, leaning against the wall and panting with all the breath he could muster. "We jus' leg it? That was the special gorram ruttin, plan? What genius thought that up?"

The crew couldn't answer, as all of them were just like Jayne, trying to get their breath back, after the long panicked sprint from the infirmary through the town had completely worn them out.

"Is everyone present?" Book asked as he counted all of the breathless children huddled up against the wall. Wash put his hand up to make sure he wasn't missed, but there was still someone missing from the group.

Book peeked round the corner and looked up the busy street.

The Lady's Moon was not your typical moon in this part of the 'verse. The main town had no name and was like any other town on a Rim world. From the saloon came sounds of an out of tune piano playing and roars of drunken laughter; horses and wagons trundled down the main street, all the shops and people were just as expected in this remote sector. However there were considerable differences.

As the general population appeared to have adopted the Rim ways, Book had always been astounded by the Core influences blatantly displayed. Amid the horses and cross country wagons, the occasional sleek hovercraft swerved in and out; further up the street there were even some pristine vid screens vibrantly displaying the festival plans for that evening. The law men's uniforms appeared to be mixed as well and Book noted that they carried both non-lethal and lethal weapons on their belts.

Coloured Chinese lanterns criss-crossed over the two sides of the town, some were simple paper ones but others appeared to be the kind that when lit would probably project holograms. Unlike Boros or Persephone, the two cultures were not segregated and had somehow perfectly blended together. The technology was astonishingly new yet there was a simple and very homey feel to this town. Book hadn't seen any other place like it.

Now in his tiny condition, it was a lot larger and he had to admit a little scarier. Book suddenly found the lost member of the crew.

The Captain hadn't been able to keep up, no doubt because of his insistence on wearing his coat. The mud on his face and clothes was evidence that the coat had tripped him up on more than one occasion and now, as he dragged himself over to their position, the solemn frown upon his face dared any one to laugh.

One person did laugh.

"Ya look like you fell in horse shit, Mal!" said Jayne, his snickering causing Wash to cover his mouth and hide his own mirth.

"Why do you still wear that coat?" Inara asked, moving over to Mal, sniffing him and agreeing whole heartily with the merc.

Mal sneered, "It's my coat! I wanna wear it!" his voice whined back as his bottom lip pouted.

"Even if it's covered in…?"

"Even if!"

"Perhaps a visit to the bath house should be our next course of action." said Book sympathetically. Kaylee and River's eyes lit up and they both nodded enthusiastically hoping that Mal would agree. However, there were several sounds of rumbling stomachs that came from the other crew members, including Mal.

"We're at the saloon." he said, lifting up the long trails of his coat into his arms. "Why don't we go on in and get somethin' to eat?"

"Think they'll allow you in, smelling like that?" asked Zoë, snickering.

"It's not that bad! And for your information, I didn't fall in any dung! It was just plain simple mud is all!"

"Mebbe you can get one of the whores to give ya a bath!" Jayne roared with laughter and Wash followed suit, the two boys clamping onto one another to prevent them from falling down.

_"Rot in hell!"_ Mal was about to take a swing at Jayne but the long sleeve of his coat slipped over his hand and it flapped harmlessly at air instead of hitting the merc. It only made Mal sulk even more.

"Need I remind you, Jayne," said Inara promptly coming to Mal's defense, "that they're not actually whores on this moon. They may appear to be but they are all licensed Companions. You don't get to choose to be with them, they choose you!"

"Yeah, and they sure as hell chose me when we came here last!" Jayne grinned proudly. "Best lot of fancy trim I ever had! I popped more times than a room fulla champagne bottles!"

A sharp and heavy booted kick to his shin made Jayne stagger hard into the side of the saloon wall and as his hand grabbed for his leg, he glared at the culprit with angry eyes.

"Doc, you keep that freaked out sis of yours on a gorram leash!" he tried to snarl menacingly but the whine of pain choking through a sob couldn't be held back. "Not enough that she doped me up, she's gotta kick the _go se_ outta me too?"

River went to kick him again but Simon pulled her back.

"_Liu kou shui de biao zi he hou zi de ben er zi!" _The little girl screamed.

"Don't you insult my ma, ya _stuck up bitch_! Mal, she insulted my ma!"

The high pitched keening of River crying only upset things again. Book saw the look of absolute confusion on Jayne's face as Simon and Kaylee both hugged the littlest member of the crew to stop her from crying.

"She kicks me and she's the one cryin'?" Jayne blew a frustrated and angry raspberry towards River. "I gotta broken arm, don't see me cryin' do ya?"

"Son…" Book closed his eyes as River let out an ear bursting screech, "Perhaps its best if we all go inside before we gain the attention of the authorities. If I remember correctly, children are not supposed to be without supervision and I would imagine the hospital staff will be out looking for us."

"Nuh uh! No they won't!" said Kaylee, as she stroked River's hair. "In 'bout few minutes time, the medic people will get a shiny message from our parents. Did a little vid manufacturin' and it'll work a treat! They got real toppa the line tech here! It's so shiny I could do anythin'! If I had the time. "

"You think of everything, don't you?" Wash said proudly. "That's our Kaylee."

Kaylee beamed a blinding smile but then focused back helping River calming down.

"I'm in agreement with the Shepherd." Zoë said, peeking round the side of the saloon. "The fuzz are gatherin' in numbers and I don't wanna be here and get taken to kiddie lockdown."

There was a consensus of agreement and so, following Zoë, the rest of the crew came out from behind the saloon and crept up the wooden steps towards the swinging doors.

However, River held back, still rubbing her wet eyes with the back of her hands. Simon, seeing that she wasn't following, went back to her and held her in a comforting hug. He kissed the top of her head in hopes to stop her from crying, but it wasn't working as it normally did.

"Mei-mei? Are you okay?"

"No, Simon," she sniffed, wiping her nose over his waist coat. "All is red and cold. She erred…the calculations don't make sense and are completely wrong! The additional auditory stimulus is deafening, it makes it hard for her to hear! She doesn't want to be little anymore! They won't play! The girl doesn't want to join in on the games!"

"River….we'll be okay." Simon kissed her again and stroked her hair in the same comforting manner that Kaylee had done. River relaxed a little in her brother's arms and latched onto him. "We will get back to our normal selves. We'll find a way. So why don't you come into the…bar…and get something to eat and drink?"

"She's not hungry. Or thirsty."

"I know you didn't eat much at the hospital…"

"Hospital food tastes like crotch."

Simon was a little stunned that she had mimicked Jayne, but then he supposed that she had used an accurate description for the food at the infirmary. It was strange, how that seemed to be the case in all hospitals. Even in the Core…there was something about hospital food that wasn't quite right.

"Well, maybe you could drink something. Just come inside, mei-mei."

River sniffed and once again wiped her nose on Simon's waistcoat. She pulled back from him and Simon saw the red puffiness of her eyes.

"The girl won't have her hair pulled or be called nasty names anymore?"

"You take no notice of that poo monkey-" River giggled at the name. "-We're going to have fun at this party. There'll be lots of music! You'd like that, right?"

"The dancing! The girl will dance in the lights; she will twirl with the Lady again!"

River's face brightened up so much and Simon couldn't help but mimic the grin. She clapped her hands and quickly ran into the bar, her thick heavy boots thumping on the wooden floor.

* * *

The bar was one they had frequented a lot when they were adults. It was quite roomy, a flight of creaky wooden steps lead to the main floor, where gambling tables were lain out in a fairly orderly manner. All along the left side of the wall was a well looked after and well stocked bar that had a brand new vid screen behind it, advertising the festival as well as the drink menu.

On the right, there was a man playing an old antique piano, the tune-less notes actually fit quite well and people seemed to be enjoying it. There were a couple of pool tables just beside the piano and it wasn't at all like the crapped out ones the crew had played out in the Rim. The holo-balls appeared to be real and when they were hit, they didn't flicker, crackle or fade like they did in most Rim bars. At the back of the saloon was the stage, where a scantily clad Asian woman was dancing for a captivated audience. There was a flight of stairs that led up to the rooms above and several whores, or rather Companions were already keeping busy.

"I missed this place." said Jayne, sighing in delight. "First I'm gonna get me some nice pints of that frothy stuff and then grab a whore!"

Jayne rushed off towards the bar in an excited flurry and when the ladies found a secluded table, hidden from view, Mal and Wash joined him. They pushed their way through the people waiting and fortunately found stools to climb up on.

Mal couldn't manage it with the coat, and Jayne couldn't because of his arm, but they were hoisted up by a woman who thought the three of them looked cute.

"You lil' fellas wanna drink?" Asked the woman, her heavy Rim accent quite startling considering she was wearing an expensive looking Core dress. The three boys grinned up at her and bobbed their heads in unison.

"Make it three pints of th' finest ale, woman!" said Jayne holding up three fingers and licking his lips. "As fer what they want…ya'd better ask!"

"I'll just have one." said Mal. "I don't wanna end up having accidents."

"Do they give beers with straws?" asked Wash hopefully. "I'd like a straw with mine. Maybe one of them curly ones that glow in the dark? Those are nice. I think its okay to drink beer with a straw…it's still manly, right?"

"Beers with straws?" Jayne gasped and stretched his good hand high up into the air. "Can I have three?"

"Now that's bein' greedy!"

The woman laughed and when the barman addressed her, she asked—making quotations with her fingers-for five beers. The barman looked at the three boys talking about straws and nodded in understanding.

"Oh, we have some friends of ours sitting over at the table with the comfy cushions." said Mal to the lady, who was absolutely doe-eyed at the cute threesome. Her face was scrunching up in delight and there were moments when Mal thought she would pinch and squeeze their cheeks or ruffle their hair. "Zoë, Kaylee and Book drink beer like us."

"With straws!" Wash pointed out with a finger.

"With straws." Mal confirmed the pilot's statement and continued. "Inara likes those fizzy cocktail things with the paper umbrella…'cause she's a lady. Simon will have a…?" Mal turned to the others for help.

"He'll have the same as Inara, what with him bein' a lady an' all too!" Jayne and Wash chortled.

"Two of the sparkly fruity fizzy things with umbrellas and could we have one of them sweet kiddie drinks for little River? She's not old enough to be drinkin' the beer yet!"

Mal wasn't quite sure why the woman and a couple of other patrons around them were laughing, but he and the other two were quite pleased that the woman was willing to buy them their round.

"We wanna order food too!" said Jayne. "I want four large steaks, rare! Bloody, _dong ma_? Side order of them curly tater things…no salad or veggies, I ain't a gorram rabbit! Side order of chicken wings, with the all the dippin' sauce and that crusty bread stuff with that funny tastin' butter all melted over it."

"Garlic bread, Jayne." Wash said, trying to correct him.

"Yeah, that too! I'm starvin'!"

Although it was a lot to order, Mal and Wash couldn't help but agree with Jayne and they nodded and hummed in revelry.

"We do have a children's menu." said the barman. "Sure you don't want to look at those instead?"

The boys scrunched up their faces as if to say _"Why in ruttin hell would we want that?"_ but their expressions changed to outright disbelief when little cups of fruit drink were placed in front of them. They looked at them and sniffed at the contents in disgust.

"You seriously servin' us this weak piss?" asked Jayne, not noticing the shocked look of the woman and others around them. "We didn't ask for it. We want beer!"

"With straws!"

"Darlin'…" The woman sighed and did in fact ruffle at Wash's tatty hair. "None of you are old 'nuff for alcohol. This'll do you fine. I'm more an' happy to buy 'em for you and yer friends, and some food…but no alcohol. _Dong ma_?"

"No! _I don't understand! _I'm forty four years old, woman!" said Jayne. "I need my beer!"

"All right, kids…that's enough!" said the barman, sternly. "I can allow ya'll to be in here if yer real quite like! It bein' festival time. But you carry on with this _foolishness_ then I'm gonna have to tell your parents. Where are they?"

The boys looked at each other and of course their situation dawned on them. For that moment, they had completely forgotten that they were four year old children and not adults. They pouted in deep disappointment. Thankfully, the woman came to their rescue again.

"Aw! Don't worry bout that, Gerry. I think I know who their parents are…at least, I know this one's pa!" The woman held a hand on Jayne's shoulder. Mal and Wash gave the merc puzzled frowns. Jayne shrugged his shoulders, not understanding. "His pa was a very good customer to my girls only the other week. Never saw such a man in demand…but look at him…just like the old man ain't he?"

Jayne grinned when he remembered. This woman weren't just an ordinary one. She was the Head Companion/whore woman in this establishment and it had been thanks to her that he had gotten serviced so well. Mal and Wash shook their heads when they should have known.

"Where is yer pa, little fella?" asked the woman picking Jayne up and cupping his face tenderly. "Is he gonna come back at all?"

"Yeah….he sure is!" said Jayne grinning from ear to ear. "He said he might pay ya a visit next time!"

"Oh that's wonderful, sweetie! Where is he?"

Mal quickly spoke up, not really wanting to have Jayne's boosted ego heightened any more.

"Our ship crashed. Some of our folks are trying to get our ship back into order, others are in the medical infirmary. They said we could stay here….can we?"

Mal looked up at the Companion with wide hopeful eyes and he quickly nudged Wash to make sure he was doing the same. The looks on their faces were irresistible. The woman nodded.

"Sure. As its Festival time! I'll get my girls to look after ya'll! Gerry, get some food ready fer the little tykes." the barman nodded. "Whilst yer food is bein' fixed, you can all relax and freshen up…an' even take a bath if ya want."

"I wanna bath!" said Jayne rising up his good hand. "But I'll need help, with my broken arm an' all!"

"I'll get Nancy to help ya, sweetie."

Jayne coughed and Mal could have sworn he heard "Harriet-as-well" mixed in with it. The woman smiled, having heard it as well and her agreement sent Jayne into full on hyper mode.

He jiggled and grinned in her arms and didn't stop even when she carried him over to the others. Mal and Wash followed, carrying the cups of juice on a tray.

"Are you a little creeped out with Jayne acting all excited about having a bath?" asked Wash sipping a bit from one of the cups to prevent spillage. Mal nodded. "Oh good, it's not just me then."

* * *

As the day went on, preparations for the festival progressed and not only was the street doused in decorations, lights and banners, but the bar itself was as well. Lanterns and streamers were everywhere and it made the crowd all the more buzzed. The music from the piano stopped and instead some traditional folk music began blaring through the speakers, making not only the professional dancers on stage dance, but the customers as well.

The crew of Serenity were well looked after and tended to by the Companions of the saloon and the majority of them quite enjoyed it. Inara was fascinated, just as much as she had been when the Lady had explained how the Guild worked here. On a world where two cultures mixed, it wasn't surprising that the women adopted a similar vein with their approach to clients.

Inara watched, swinging her legs in time to the music and sipping on her juice drink, as the two types of Companions intermingled with the patrons. Some of the ladies were as graceful and beautiful as Inara was, with their beautiful dresses and delicate smiles; the others were much more vibrant and wild as Jayne preferred, with their corsets, ruffled skirts and heavy make-up. It wouldn't work on Shinon, or any of the Core planets…in fact the two styles of companions wouldn't work anywhere, but yet it did, here.

The women looked after them so well and Inara was pleased when some of the Companions talked to her, as it didn't feel like they were talking to a four year old. They were speaking to her as Inara Serra and she loved it.

Kaylee was in heaven when Companions took her and the other girls upstairs. They all had a bath -Kaylee's squeals about the bubbles had reached down to the bar- and were fussed over, having their hair brushed and braided. They were washed and freshened up, as were their clothes, so when they came down the stairs, they looked to be ready for church rather than going to enjoy a festival.

All of them were fussed over by every person they passed, the adults saying how smart and cute they all looked. Inara was immensely pleased, as one of the companion's nieces had a dress that fit her perfectly, a beautiful dark blue Chinese dress with a black dragon and flowers.

Mal still refused to take off his long trailing coat, but the crew had given up trying to persuade him to take it off, even when he nearly tripped head long down the stairs.

However River, as she was the last one to come down, went into a state of hysterics as soon as she saw Book's afro. After several shampoos and goodness knows what else was done to the dark mound of hair, it appeared to have somehow doubled in size.

"The roof will collapse!" River huddled into the folds of Zoë's shirt. "There's too much pressure!"

"I think its shiny." said Book, grinning and wiggling his head from side to side, making the mass of hair wobble like jelly on a plate.

"No! It's too much!" moaned River. "Make it go away!"

"It's all right, sweetie." Zoë held River back and lifted her chin up with a gentle touch of her finger. "It's celebration time now! It's time to have fun!"

"We can commence with the dancing?" River gasped turning away from Book. "We can dance in the streets, with the lights and parades?"

"Yes, mei-mei. We can all dance." Kaylee and Zoë directed the girl away from Book and towards the exit. There the three crouched down beneath the swinging doors and gazed out at the display of glittering lights and the gathering crowds of people. They had to shift out of the way as some from the bar began to file out, but the look of awe and wonder was firmly plastered on their faces.

"She doesn't like my hair?" Book said, sadly, his dark eyes glistening with tears.

"It is quite wild." Inara poked a finger and was surprised when most of her hand disappeared. As the companion tried to take her hand out, she felt what appeared to be a comb, some hair clips and a pen (?) trapped in the black hair. She managed to pull them out and saw the Shepherd smile when she handed him the comb.

"Thank you. Missy was looking for that."

"Missy?" Inara was intrigued, but Jayne interrupted by whacking his decorated plastered hand on Book's shoulder.

"Yeah, you was putty in her hands, preacher." he said, grinning. "Reckon you'll be the same when we're grownup again."

"It was nothing like that, Jayne." Book said rather huffily. He folded his arms across his chest and pouted. "She reminds me of my mother."

"Your mother?" Inara gasped.

Book didn't say anything, he just walked away. Inara, Mal, Jayne, Simon and Wash saw the preacher walk over to a dark skinned woman dressed in a corset and ruffles. The boy hopped up onto her lap, the woman smiled and began to read to him from a book on the table.

"The preacher man's ma was a hooker!" exclaimed Jayne, grinning evilly. "Didn't see that one comin'!"

"I think you're jumping to conclusions." said Simon, scowling. Jayne pulled a face back and did a gesture with a couple of his fingers. When Simon made a "tut" with his tongue, it seemed to anger Jayne even more, but Wash pulled him back.

"Come on big fella. Let's play some pool."

Jayne grunted and then wiped his nose with his hand.

_"Prissy ass."_

Inara wasn't quite sure how Jayne was going to play pool with his broken arm, but she watched him and Wash skillfully commence play by using chairs so they could reach. Wash also helped Jayne with his turns by steadying his cue. It was clumsy play, the balls didn't go down the pockets very often, but the electronic buzzing and sounds as the balls bounced off the cushions appeared to have both of the boys amused and entertained.

Inara was contemplating what to do next. She was thinking on going over to join the other girls to watch the scenes outside, but she was stopped by a gentle tap on her shoulder.

"You…ya wanna dance? With me?"

Inara's mouth dropped open a little by Mal's proposal. Yet as more music began to play, as couples began to dance together before the stage, she felt that it might be a good idea. It was most unlike him to ask her, especially in such an environment as this. He was so sweet and adorable right now.

"That sounds nice, Mal." She said, smiling widely as he bowed most gentlemen like. "Are you going to take the coat off?"

The Captain looked down at his oversized brown coat and it clearly showed on his face that he didn't really want to. However, he shook it off and handed it to Simon, before holding out his hand for Inara. She curtsied, took hold of his hand and joined him on the dance floor. The little couple got adoring "aws!" and smiles from the other adults around them and it made Inara feel like an adult again. She felt as if she was back on Persephone, dancing at the ball with Mal…no Atherton to interrupt or spoil things.

"You dance nicely, Mal." She said as he held her closely.

"Had some practice." He fondly grinned back. "Seein' as this is a time for merriment and enjoyment, I thought you might like a twirl."

And twirl her he did. He softly pushed her out with his hand and then gently spun her round before pulling her back into him and holding her tight. Inara let out a gasp and then let out a giggle that wasn't exactly ladylike. Mal continued to step in almost perfect time (with the exception of a few un-coordinated staggers and trips) around the saloon. They bumped into a few of the adult couples but to Inara it didn't matter. Mal was actually dancing with her and it felt so heavenly. She completely forgot herself as she gazed into his eyes, caring not that they were four year olds.

She got so lost that she almost leaned in closer to kiss him.

"Oh my!"

"The Captain and Inara! Sittin' in a tree!" Kaylee's singing cheery voice pitched rather high. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

Inara was pulled out of her revelry, the dancing stopped when she saw Kaylee, Zoe and River standing now with Simon, grinning at them. Simon and Kaylee clapped with joy, hoping that Mal and Inara would kiss, but River was confused.

"But they are not." Said River, puzzled. "There are no trees in here and they're not sitting down or kissing."

Zoe was about to explain, but then a different piece of music started playing and that brought more people into the fray. It was now River's turn to clap happily and bounce up and down before rushing into the center and dancing with unmatched vigor between the bodies. Such vibrant joy on the girl's face soon dragged Kaylee, Inara and Simon in after her.

The atmosphere increased tenfold with so many people dancing. There were screams of delight, whoops of laughter and clapping of hands and stomping of feet to the music. It was impossible to not be swept up in the moment, especially seeing how happy River and the others were, but Zoe stood by Mal as he shucked on his coat. Her face looked somber and deadly serious.

"Sir…it's all fine and well with this party," she said, pausing as a cry of _"Fuck yeah!"_ cried from the pool table. She saw Jayne and Wash doing a high-five, shortly before being scolded for the bad use of language. "But what's happenin' bout us getting back to our normal selves?"

"Reckons we should go and see the Lady now?"

"Might be wise."

"But they're having so much fun. Don't you wanna join in as well?"

"Not really."

Mal smirked and then poked a finger at Zoe's cheek.

"Yeah ya do!"

"Sir….."

"You want to dance and frolic. Go on….you know you do!"

Mal poked Zoe's cheek again and was seriously at risk of having that finger broken, but the smile couldn't be kept back. Zoe sighed and gave into the feeling.

"Yeah I do!"

With the Captain and the first mate now dancing, caring not for getting trampled or shoved, it seemed the desperate need to get back to adulthood was forgotten. The music kept playing, the fruity fizzy drinks were consumed and the sugar rushes sent them all into a manic and chaotic high.

Jayne and Wash eventually finished their game, which had been made even more impossible with all the people dancing, and went to get some more drinks. Jayne got them from the bar, grinning his cutest face at some of the ladies so they would pay for him. Wash had accumulated a mass of bendy coloured straws and the two of them sat at a table messing around with them and flinging them at people going past.

"You all right, Shepherd?" asked Wash as Book plonked himself down beside him. He handed the preacher a drink, some straws and grinned. Book nodded back.

"I'm simply enjoying this atmosphere."

"Got bored with Missy?" Jayne sniggered. "Though with her it weren't ever—!"

"Not at all," Book held up a hand to stop Jayne from finishing that sentence. "I came to enquire about the plan to get back to normal."

"Why ya inna rush to get back to bein' a grownup? What happened to relivin' yer childhood?"

Book shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm still doing so. I was merely seeing if our fearless Captain had any actual plans."

"Nope, no plans. But we have straws, Shepherd!" Wash waved some in front of Book's face. The pretty colours certainly caught his attention. Book's little fingers reached out for them and then he placed two under his top lip and held out his hands like claws.

"Grrr!"

Wash laughed and did the same and then the two of them hopped down from the seats and began to impersonate dinosaurs.

"Fer fo muff beffer fan fer caffin!" said Wash with his mouth full of straws. Book growled again but was unaware of a large number of candy pieces being thrown into his hair.

Jayne wanted to play, but at the same time, he thought what they were doing was stupid. The others were all prancing around like gorram idjets and here he was, still with a broken arm and on his lonesome.

He got bored with throwing candy at Book's hair. Jayne couldn't drink, couldn't have one of them delicious cigars that the men were smoking, and he couldn't have few rounds with a gorram whore. Where was the fun in being like this?

"Sweetie….don't put those up there. They might get stuck."

Jayne gawked up at the woman, not quite realizing what she was talking about, until she extracted the two straws from Jayne's nostrils. The petite brunette woman smiled sweetly and then pointed out where Wash and Book were prowling in amongst people's legs and still going "Grrr!"

"Go an' play with them, cutie." She said picking Jayne up and handing him some new straws. Jayne did his best impression of a dinosaur, but before the woman set him down onto the floor, several more crowded round him. He knew every single one of them.

"Hey gorgeous! Where's yer pa?"

"Annie wants to say hi again!"

"I would love to see him also, your father had such….a presence…."

Jayne's mood changed for the better as several of the whores (or rather Companions) kept asking after his so called pa. Of course, he beamed with pride and pleasure knowing that it was actually him who had managed to gain such attention from an elite group of women.

"Never met a man with such stamina," Gasped another woman as she pinched at Jayne's cheek. "Your momma was so lucky!"

He lapped it all up. The attention and wonderful compliments to his sexual prowess were blissful and as it went on and on, Jayne wanted more. He clapped his hands and although he wished he could take them all on now, he knew there was only one way that would happen. He had to become an adult again.

That meant dragging Mal and the others out of here to find the Lady.

"MAAAAL!"

"Oh, the things he could do." The companions were still blabbering on.

"I would gladly be his own personal companion."

"Did he do that thing where he had you upside down and…"

"OW!" One of the women staggered back and gave the woman behind her a scowling look. "Did you just kick me?"

"No! I—ow! Someone kicked me!"

Jayne then saw several of the whores all reacting as if they had been assaulted. They began to blame each other and unlike the sophisticated women that them Core whores were supposed to be like, they began to get mighty rattled. Jayne tried to figure out who started it all, but when the hair pulling and screams commenced, he weren't that much worried. He squirmed out of the lady's grasp and rushed to the table, pulling Book and Wash away from their dinosaur game.

"The whores are havin' a fight over me!" said Jayne jumping up and down with excitement. "Cuz I'm so gorram good in the sack! Ain't it shiny?"

"Shiny," Said Wash handing Jayne some more straws. "Are you going to play dinosaurs?"

Jayne wasn't interested in the slightest. Watching women screaming and fighting, over him, was much better entertainment.

It wasn't long before some of the men, a couple being those pansy law types, tried to come in and break it up. But to Jayne's delight, it only made things worse and a lot more violent.

The music stopped, the crowds of dancing people parted ways as chairs, bottles and people started flying around. The sound of fists impacting with faces was music to Jayne's ears.

"Now I feel like dancin'!" he cried sticking a straw in his mouth as if it was a cigar and swinging his good arm. He wasn't the only one. Mal and Zoe were scampering in and around the fighters, Zoe sharply booting a few shins that got in her way.

"Jayne! This is your doing!" Mal had to flatten himself against the ground as two scrapping blokes in trench coats came by his way. As he scrambled to get up, he saw a man beating up on another, Mal picked up the trail of his coat and then grabbed a bottle and smashed it over the _hun dun's_ head.

"I dint start this!" Jayne grabbed a pool cue and to Mal's surprise, he started swinging it round in spinning circles.

"Jayne's gotta stick! Get back!" cried Kaylee, pulling Simon out of the fracas. Simon stumbled and resisted at Kaylee's rescue, because he couldn't see his sister.

"River! Where's River?" cried Simon, tears of fear streaming down his face. "Mei-mei! _Where are you? Answer me!_"

There was no reply. As Kaylee, Simon and Inara stayed back, the other members of the crew waded in as if it was Unification day. Wash picked up a cue like Jayne did, but it was far too long and he then tried to break it into two smaller handier pieces by hitting it over the end of the pool table. It didn't break at all. He cussed and carried on hitting the table.

"I'll be there in a sec!" he cried hitting the cue harder.

There was glass breaking, bodies fell everywhere, but no one knew who the main perp was. No one knew who it was who had started it all and was now taking men of all sizes down as if they were wet paper bags.

Jayne held his own, whacking a few guys on the back with his cue, even tripping some up so they knocked themselves out on the coffee table and he did so all with one arm. It spun in his hand like a deadly weapon and it would have been even more deadlier had he had his full adult strength behind his swings. Jayne got mostly legs and a few stomachs, but the joy of joining in on a fight, fuelled the adrenalin inside.

Mal was having a little more difficulty, mainly due to the fact that he refused to take his large coat off. He did scramble up onto a table and take a flying leap at one man, landing on his back and wrapping his coat around the guy's head. Mal then proceeded to whack the man with the long flaps of his sleeve.

Zoe was a menace. She hadn't exactly wanted to get into the fight, for the dancing had been fun, but when it did start, there was that roar inside of her, that call for her to dish out some hurt, because, let's face it, it was just as much fun beating folk up! Her toe capped boots may have been covering teeny tiny feet, but she could still crack those feet pretty hard at legs and at a couple of faces of those lying on the floor.

"Save some for me lambie toes!" said Wash, still trying to crack the cue in half, but only succeeding in making a very large banging noise, which didn't sound half bad.

"Look out, Zoe!"

Mal's warning came just in time and Zoe was able to avoid the falling man by hiding under one of the few tables that hadn't been smashed. The dazed lawman (as he turned out to be) was baffled even more as Zoe then approached him and crouched down low to slap him, before running away.

"For the independents!" cried Mal as he was literally picked up by the scruff of his coat. His legs wiggled about but the big butch man just looked at him, snarling. "Lemme go!"

"You shouldn't be here, pip-squeak. You could get hurt."

Mal still squirmed in the hold but then looked absolutely horrified as a blur of a stick rushed past and impacted with butch's genitals. Mal felt himself falling, but was relieved when a nearby poker table broke his fall. He rolled and as he slipped off the other end, he stomped quite hard on a poor bloke who had been trying to get up.

"Thanks, Shepherd!"

Book winked at the captain and then swung the broken chair leg at someone's kneecaps.

Even though they were caught up in the fight, oblivious also to the scrapping women by the bar, Mal and his crew had no idea who was taking down the majority of the men. Mal, Zoe, Book and Jayne eventually wore themselves out and so they decided to take shelter underneath a table, for a brief rest.

"_Ain't this fun?"_ roared Jayne.

"It does certainly get the blood pumping."

"You're getting too much into the violence, preacher. I'm mighty worried about ya." Zoe said, curiously plucking a couple of poker chips from his hair. Book patted her on the back.

"I wasn't always a shepherd."

"Can anyone see, 'Nara and the others?" asked Mal, all four of them ducking again as more bodies flew past. There were even a couple of the Companions that followed, screaming as they slid on the wooden floor, their dresses tearing in the process.

"Wash is still over by the pool table." Book said, pointing to where the pilot seemed to have given up joining in the fight and was instead banging the pool cue with glee on the table. He appeared unhurt, which pleased Zoe no end.

"'Nara, Lee and pansy ass are over by the exit. Way from all the bustle. They're safe." Jayne added.

Sure enough Mal saw the three little child crew members being looked after by the barman, Gerry. But someone was missing.

"Where's the crazy brat?" asked Mal.

"Like I care." Jayne scoffed, to which he received a clout round the earhole from Zoe.

"You don't think she got caught up in all that do you, Captain?" asked Book. "She's a frail thing at best, in our current predicaments she could be seriously injured."

River Tam was anything but injured. While the rest of her crewmates scrapped for fun, she became something more than just a little girl. Something inside of River snapped and took over and the tiny girl managed to cause most of the wreckage in the saloon within a matter of minutes. Grown men didn't see the flying kicks that knocked them out, the women had no idea who bit deep into their ankles and sent them down on their knees by a sharp jolt of a tiny fist. The lawmen didn't see her somersaults and deadly attacks, for how could a tiny thing like her cause any of this?

"There!" Zoe cried, pointing towards the pool table.

All eyes turned and watched as River leapt up in front of Wash. She stood on the pool table with her back to them all, fists poised and ready to dish out some more hurt. They almost didn't recognize her.

"What the gorram hell is she doin'?" cried Mal, scrambling to go out and help her. He didn't get far thanks to his coat. "She's asking to get hurt!"

Wash had stopped hitting the cue on the table and looked just as stunned as everyone else, but to their surprise it was Jayne who scurried out from under and ran towards her, dodging more dog fighting companions and hitting a few more men with his pool cue. Wash helped him up and when Jayne approached her from behind, he held out his good hand and wrapped it round her, pulling her into him.

"Hey girl, it's me. Gotta get ya-!"

An elbow impacted into his chest and Jayne was winded and went crashing down onto the green felt with coughing fits.

"_Ma de!"_ Jayne's face reddened and he coughed some more, almost to the point of being sick but he swallowed it down and focused back on the creepy girl glaring down at him. The long dark tatty strands of her hair covered up her face, but he could still see those eyes. "What'cha do that for?"

River crouched down next to him and from behind the hair, there came a snarl. It was then that both Jayne and Wash saw the darkness in her eyes and it scared them. River looked at the many doodles and drawings on Jayne's plaster cast and then a lipstick mark on the back of his hand seemed to make her eyes darken even more, if it was possible.

"Lucky they weren't killed." She said, her voice eerily void of the innocence and sweetness she normally spoke with. Before Jayne or even Wash could respond, the saloon doors burst open and a lot more lawmen came running in. In that instant, River jumped and somersaulted off the pool table and disappeared.

"Did she really just do that?" asked Wash, his head spinning this way and that to try and locate her.

Jayne bobbed his head.

"How did she do it?"

Jayne didn't have a good gorram clue. He was pleased that the scatter brain fruit loop had elbowed his stomach and not thought to rip off his happy sacks. He collapsed fully on the pool table, his eyes watering and blurred as the bar room brawl was finally put to an end.

"What are these children doing amongst all this?" cried one lawman, a superior if the fancy markings on his coat was anything to go by.

Rough hands dragged both the boys from the table and as Wash was carried across the room, he saw the same being done to the rest of the crew. The "fuzz" dropped them off in the hands of those folks which had been sensible enough not to get involved and the superior turned to address the ruckus before him.

"What in the name of _wo de ma he ta de feng kuang de wai sheng dou _is going on here?" shouted the senior fuzz. Every single person in the room, whether they were being dragged away from the fight, or doing the dragging, stopped and calmed at the sound of the booming voice. The wrecked patrons all looked towards this man and did nothing further until they heard what he had to say.

"Her Ladyship may tolerate some gorram scuffles, but I cert'n'ly don't when it's at this time of year! I could arrest the lotta ya and throw ya'll in jail! Now tell me who started it!"

Low murmurs responded back that didn't impress him at all.

"She dunnit."

Simon nearly wrenched his neck as he turned his head at the sound of Jayne's voice. He glared at the boy leaning against the wall, chewing on a straw, but the merc didn't look up at him or call him rude and insulting names.

"Where is my sister?" he snapped. Simon shrugged off Kaylee's soothing hands on his shoulders and spun round to face Mal. The doc's face was pale, more so than usual, pale with severe and genuine worry. "Where's River? Captain! Where is she?"

With the exception of Jayne, everyone began to look round for River, worried and frantic as to where she could be. Their inquiring only made things worse as the head lawman yelled for someone to keep the children under reins.

"I suggest we get out of here before they start asking us questions." Zoe whispered to the Captain. Mal nodded in complete agreement. He waved his hands to the others, and when the opportune moment was right they crept to the doors.

"Captain!" Simon pulled back on the collar of Mal's shirt and turned him round. "What about my sister? We're not leaving her here! I won't abandon her to be on her own."

Mal scowled and shoved the doctor back. Simon staggered up against Jayne who responded with a growl and shoved him away. Kaylee wrapped her arms around the medic, seeing that he was getting very upset. His nose was running a little.

"In case you ain't noticed, doc," Said Mal, pointing a long sleeve towards the clearing bar. "Your sis ain't here!"

"Where is she?" wailed Simon with a high pitched whine that sounded just like his sister. It was followed by a nasal whinge that made Jayne sneer with utter contempt. Mal didn't particularly want a crying doctor on his hands so he shoved Simon through the swinging doors and pointed to the tide of people dancing in the main town.

"Your sister is somewhere amongst all that lot!"

Simon could only gaze in horror at the sea of people, of bright coloured and elaborate costumed folks, dancing, drinking and flowing through the town like a swarm. His little mei-mei was amongst them?

"We've got to find her." He stammered, allowing Kaylee's tight grip around him squeeze even more. "Anything could happen! She could be kidnapped or arrested! We could lose her forever!"

"That happens an' this'll be the best day ever!" said Jayne snorting with glee.

_"Go stick your head in a baboon's ass, imbecile!"_

"Make me_, ji bai!_"

"Cap'ain!" Kaylee keened. "We can't leave River out there! She'll be so lonely and scared!"

Mal knew that she would and so, flipping up the collar on his coat, he stepped forward out to the walkway and began scanning the crowd. It was going to be tough. To locate a tiny crazy girl on this Moon was like looking for a needle in several large haystacks.

"Right. I got us a plan." He said, when Simon and Jayne finally stopped slinging abuse at each other.

"Really, sir?" asked Zoe, a little apprehensive.

"Yeah. We're gonna split into pairs, fan out about the town and look for the girl. Then we locate the Lady and gorram get back to normal!"

For once, this sounded like a plan that would work. Even if it was Mal's.


	5. The Search For River Tam: Mal & Zoe

_Author's Note: This chapter isn't as Rayne as people might think, but don't fret. This is also the beginning of the TSFRT chapters, all very close to the originals, which I wanted to be focused on some of the other characters. Mal and Zoe is a good start and yeah a little conventional, but it sets up the others really well. _

_Uusual disclaimers: I own nothing of Firefly. Gorram shame. _

_This has been betated by SunshineAli (thanks hon!) and any yogis are mine not hers. Please do enjoy. _

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**The Search For River Tam: Mal & Zoe**

The Captain and First Mate held hands as they crouched down watching the engineers, who should have been working on fixing their ship. Instead, the family of grease monkeys were drinking, laughing and preparing to join in on the town's festivities.

Mal supposed it was acceptable, being as it was their festival and they had a right to enjoy themselves, but his poor Serenity was in need of help. Seeing her there, broken, smashed and weak—all alone—it made him sad. It made him angry. Mal's lower lip drooped and his eye sockets ached and stung as tears swelled. His fist clenched and then he felt a pain in his arm.

"Ow!" he wailed, the pain finally spilling the tears from his eyes and dripping snot from his nose. A long sleeve of his coat guided his arm to catch the drips. "Ow! You hit me!"

"Of course I hit you!" Zoe cried. "You're hurting my hand, sir! Let go!"

Mal did so instantly. Zoe hit pretty hard –okay very hard—as an adult and as she was a little kid now, well it didn't seem to make a difference. His sleeve smeared across his nose again, the previous trail spreading across his face. Zoe backed away as Mal didn't notice his skin was covered.

"Sorry. I…I just…" He sniffed and tried assert control over the intense emotions overwhelming him.

"I understand, sir." Zoe rubbed at the hand Mal had nearly crushed and quickly looked around the crates they were hiding behind. "Serenity, she looks very beat up. I feel sorry for crashing her."

"We all did this to her."

Mal fought back the tears and found his inner captainy-self. Mal's mind began thinking about why he was experiencing the bubbling anger inside. They had all crashed his precious ship because they had been turned into kids and The Lady was the one responsible for it. The only reason why The Lady of the moon cast her witchy supernatural spell was because she had been insulted. Jayne was the one who insulted her and ergo, it was Jayne's fault. Mal shot to his feet and nearly pushed over the crate.

"Jayne! _Yu ben gan ni niang!"_

Of course Mal did have to shout out an obscenity in front of engineers, the good kind family of engineers who were now looking at him with horrified expressions. He clamped his clean sleeve and hand over his mouth feeling awkwardly guilty for offending them.

There was a slap across his other arm as Zoe clipped him with a half strength attempt to actually hit him. She did not look happy as the three women, wearing overalls and pointy party hats, came rushing over to them. Two began to scold Mal for his bad language, as if these people had never sworn before! The other took a hanky from her pocket, spat on it and began to rub it all over Mal's face. He cringed and tried to back away from her, but she held him fast and rubbed the gunk off him.

"Ugh! Gerroff me, woman!" Mal flapped his arms and screwed his face up as the spit wiped across his skin. "I ain't ya kid and that is _really _gross!"

"Says the little boy with snot all over his face!" the woman, ruffled his hair. "Now, why ain't you and your friend enjoyin' the festivities?"

"Serenity is our home," Zoe pointed to the ship while Mal desperately used his sleeves to wipe the spit off. "We're worried about her."

"Ah. Well don't you worry," said another woman. "Yer home will be right as rain in a few days. Now go back to yer parents or else they'll be hearing from us!"

"A few days? That is _my_ ship! I wanna be getting off this rock as soon as possible!" Mal beat at the woman who was attacking him with the spit hanky. "And-will you quit it with that damned rag?"

Zoe's fingers dug into Mal's arm and she quickly dragged him away, apologising and grinning sweetly until she dragged him down behind a couple of water barrels. Actually Mal tripped on his coat and fell down, cussing words that surely would have resulted in him having his mouth washed out with soap. Zoe laughed, it was all she could do.

"Not funny, Zoe."

"I ain't laughin', sir."

"Yes, you did! Just now!"

"Not laughin' any more, sir. Promise."

"Right." Mal seemed appeased by that statement and when he got the long flaps of his coat out the way of his feet, he looked over the water barrel towards Serenity. "There's a good chance River might've returned here…we've gotta get aboard."

"That much is obvious."

"Okay, here's the way things is…" Zoe folded her arms and huffed as Mal began to dictate another plan. "Zo, cause a distraction to the big folks…I'm thinkin' you can make use of those oil cans somehow. Disrupt the place, cause havoc or somethin', anythin' that'll lead them away from me. While you're gettin' them Kaylee-wannabes away from Serenity, I'll sneak round the side of the docking pad and board her. I'll have to find some way to reach the hatch release…I'm too gorram short…maybe a pulley system with them chains over there or if I can I can drag some crates across and stack one on top of the other? Your distraction has to be a good one and long, I don't need them coming back and givin me more spit washes! So once inside I will search for River, if she's here, I'll get her off and we can skedaddle over to the Lady and get our good gorram selves adult-ed again! How does that sound?"

"Sounds good, sir," Zoe held her hand over her mouth to hide the smirk from Mal. She coughed a couple of times and then patted the Captain on his shoulder. "Or…why don't we just walk over to Serenity and walk on?"

"Huh-what-how now?"

Zoe turned round and pointed. Past the gate of the docks, the long straight road into the centre of town was busy and packed with people, including the family who were supposed to be repairing the ship. The gates to the dock were now locked and would prove a problem when Mal and Zoe—and possibly River—left, but there was no one else in this mechanic's bay. It was just the two of them.

"Oh. Okay. Shiny."

He stood gazing at Serenity with a mixture of pride and saddened joy and after a long moment of the Captain gawping, he jerked suddenly as if he had been bitten or slapped. Mal jumped forward and with all the speed he could muster, started to run towards his ship. Zoe followed closely behind, picking him up when he tripped on his coat. She had to pick her own self up off the dirty ground when Mal wrenched from out of her support and threw himself at the hull of Serenity to hug it. Mal kissed the scarred plating and muttered under his breath and then scurried round to the rear.

Zoe made sure the Captain couldn't see her before tentatively approaching Serenity, spreading her arms and pressing herself against the side of the ship. She remembered that she hadn't been optimistic for this Firefly when Mal first introduced them—Zoe hadn't liked her much at all—but now just like her captain and the rest of the crew, she couldn't imagine any other vessel harbouring them in the black. She wouldn't want any ship other than Serenity.

"You're not _fei-oo_." She whispered, pressing a kiss to her fingers and touching the ship. "You can never be _fei-oo._"

The first mate would have loved to have stayed longer but the sound of frustrated grunts and whines from around the corner pulled her away.

"ZOE! I CAN'T OPEN THE BAY DOORS! I CAN'T REACH!"

The first mate sighed. If he shouted again, someone was bound to hear, but then Mal tended to shout a lot, which was one reason why he kept getting shot so often. She walked round and sure enough, Mal was jumping up to try and tag the button. It wasn't going well.

"This could be a problem." He huffed, jumping up again but still not succeeding. Zoe tried as well, with no luck. "Okay, give me a boost up. Hold your hands out and I can use you as…"

"How about we do it the other way round?"

Mal sheepishly grinned and held out his hands without further protest. Zoe supported herself against the ship and placed a booted foot in Mal's linked hands. After the count of three, Zoe lifted her weight up into his hold and stretched her arm to touch the release button. There was a hiss, a crack, and a screeching whine followed as the bay door began to descend. Zoe had to jump off of Mal to prevent herself from being caught or crushed, she landed on her feet quite well and she couldn't help but feel overjoyed to see the bay of Serenity.

She forgot to remain calm and cautious and pelted up the ramp with all the speed she could muster. Zoe's arms flapped about she was that giddy, but her joy fell when she saw the state of the ship caused by the crash. It was a mess. It looked as if a bomb had hit it, there were bits of metal everywhere, cargo boxes were smashed, the catwalks above were now barely hanging together and to make matters worse…the Captain's fort had been completely obliterated.

It was going to take a lot longer than a few days to repair most of the damage, Zoe figured, though the town's engineers could only mean to get Serenity flying again. Perhaps in foresight Kaylee and Wash should have come back to the ship to see if they could do anything to help, but Mal being the Captain…he made the decision.

There was the sound of something ripping and then a high pitched but barely restrained squeak. Zoe, noting that Mal wasn't next to her, turned and saw a very tearful Captain standing on the bottom of the ramp. He was scared and very upset, for his nostrils were quivering as much as his mouth was.

"Zo…" He began to make this strange blubbering sound, which then turned into a heaving wheeze as he tried to get out his words. "I…I think my…coat…"

The large rip in the prized brown coat was hard to miss.

"Captain…" Zoe slowly edged down the ramp, holding her hands out in reassurance, her tone as light and comforting as possible. "Sir…we can fix it. We can get it repaired."

"It…" Mal snorted loudly, trying to hold in the inevitable howling bawl he wanted to release. "It…won't. Be. The. Same."

His bottom lip quivered as he gazed in absolute horror at his beloved brown coat with the huge tare. The tears in his eyes reached a point that they could no longer be contained and so they streamed down his cheeks; his whole body began to sway and his legs began to shake. Jibbering words began to mumble from his mouth and slowly a sleeve covered hand began to caress at the coat like it someone had shot and killed a puppy. Zoe had known Mal for years and it was extremely rare to see him without it when off the boat.

"Sir…we can get you a new one then. One exactly like it how does that sound?"

There was a sharp inhalation of air, combined with a wet snort. Mal's eyes widened in horror and his fists clenched in anger, turning white.

"Say that again, suggest that again…and I will end you!" The threatening angry and very Captain-y tone then broke down into a hurtful sob. "_How could you?"_

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It took a long time to convince Mal Reynolds to slip off his coat and come into the ship to search for River. The already distraught Captain was reduced into further anguish as he surveyed the internal damage to his ship. Adult Mal wouldn't have reacted in the way that little Mal did, yet it was clear how he truly felt about his ship.

Zoe understood how difficult it was to keep control in the emotions swelling up inside her. It was like a boiling kettle, the water bubbling over and spilling everywhere; but even if the kettle was turned off, if she could reassert some of her adult control, the water or emotions would still continue boiling before settling. Mal's kettle didn't look like it was turning off.

Zoe was having difficulty in keeping her own to a light simmer. She was feeling very sad at the way her home looked, in fact a few tears began to build up in her eyes, but she was still essentially her. Zoe had never been one to panic or fret over dire situations, she dealt with them. Zoe did all she could and then accepted things…her training, her life had made her into who she was. Being this little, having all these feelings again, she both welcomed them and wanted them gone.

"Sir…we have to focus. River, we need to find her."

"Do you know how much effort it took me to make that fort? Do you even know how much all these repairs are gonna to cost? What about my coat? How am I ever going to find another one like that? It belonged to my dad, my dad, who I never knew!"

"Snap out of it, Captain!"

She didn't put much strength behind the punch, but it impacted on Mal's shoulder just enough to shut him up and gasp in shock. He was going to cry again but it seemed his first mate did just what he needed. Mal scowled and punched her back.

"Ow!"

"Ow! Sir!"

"There was no need to hit me! _Di yu!_"

"Yes! There was! You were gettin' emotional and mushy over Serenity! Again!"

"I'm her captain and therefore entitled to be mushy! I have the emotional capacity of a four year old!"

"So do I! So why don't we focus on finding the doc's sister!"

"Fine! All right then! Just don't hit me again or I'll be seriously reprimandin' ya!"

"I won't hit you if you stop acting like a baby."

Mal huffed angrily and folded his arms across his chest. Zoe matched his actions and at the same time both of them stuck their tongues out at each other and turned their backs.

After a few more moments sulking, the Captain and First mate knowing they were being foolish, petty and childish, turned back round.

"I'll…I'll call for her over the comms," Said Zoe pointing to the control panel. "She might hear us and come out of hiding."

"I'm gonna start searchin the ship." Mal allowed a small apologetic smile to drift upon his face and he lightly and playfully gave Zoe a little shove. "Sorry. I'm seriously not likin being small, and snotty. It's irkin me greatly how The Lady has done this…I'm mightily pissed that Jayne even gave her cause for it…my fort is gone and my ship is broken. My coat…"

"Easy, sir…easy."

Mal breathed and smiled again before the anguish could take hold.

"I want to be a grown-up again, Zoe. So let's do this."

"Yes sir." Zoe smiled back and headed for the control panel. She wanted to be an adult as well…she hoped that the Lady would be able to work her magic again.

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_"River? Sweetie? Are you here? Please answer us." _

It had been an hour and Mal was getting very, very sleepy. He had searched all the places he could think of for River Tam, but there was no sign of her. Even Zoe's constant calls for the youngest member of the crew proved fruitless. Mal had looked everywhere he could think of; one of the advantages of being small was he was able to climb into some of the hidey places River used before, yet he was unable to locate her. It was logical to assume that River would come back here, it was home to her, she had said enough times how much she loved it. The more places he looked and the more Zoe called for her it seemed likely that the resident crazy genius hadn't returned to Serenity.

"She's not here" Said Mal, instantly hearing Zoe emerge from the bridge behind him.

"Ya sure?"

"Well, I did look in all the places I could think of."

"What about the places you wouldn't think of. The areas of the ship we'd think River would avoid."

The infirmary was a given and already done. Book's room was done as well…the teen steered clear of his room ever since the "hair" incident…but there wasn't anywhere else on Serenity that she would avoid.

Zoe cleared her throat and pointed to the bunk hatch next to them. Mal waved a dismissive hand.

"I've checked the bunks."

"All of them?"

Mal's mouth dropped open. He hadn't checked all of them, there was only one and at the time he thought it ridiculous to search. River would never go in there.

So if she was upset and afraid, it would be the last place on Serenity that she would hide. With both of their efforts, Mal and Zoe pushed open the hatch to Jayne's bunk and they climbed down into the lion's den. Mal had been down in Jayne's bunk before and it was normally a mess, with the exception of the immaculate layout of his weapons on the wall. Nothing had changed, it was still a tip, but some of the weapons had been thrown from their positions and now cluttered the floor.

River was not here either.

"Well it was a long shot." Mal sighed. "We can only hope the others find her now."

"We'd better get out of here."

"Yeah the smell of Jayne's laundry isn't doin wonders for my sense of smell. Remind me to put him on laundry duty—specifically his own—when we're back to normal."

"Yes sir."

The two turned to the ladder to exit, but something caught Mal's eye. He looked properly at the space beneath the merc's bed, as the flash of something bright and colourful became all too clear. Reynolds bent down and extracted the yellow and red dress, the same dress he had seen River wear all too often, though it had been a while since she had done so last.

"Er…is that River's?" asked Zoe, pointing to the fabric in Mal's hand. He nodded. "Is that the same one which was ruined after she tried to give Jayne a haircut a few months back?"

"_Shi."_

"Why would River's dress be in here, in Jayne's quarters?"

Mal didn't know, but as his fist clenched round the dress, the as of yet unknown fatherly instinct riled up the anger inside of him.

"Jayne-!" His voice growled as low as it possibly could, considering his voice hadn't broken yet. Or again. "_Yu ben gan ni niang!" _


	6. The Search For River Tam: Book & Kaylee

_Author's Note: A small addition to the story. Here were follow little Book and Kaylee in their search for River. If you haven't read the graphic novel "A Shepherd's Tale" please do so. There are some references to it and to Book's past, hopefully it won't spoil it for you. _

_This has been beta'd by Neuman...thanks also for the idea brainstorming. I think what I've written should cover both of our niggles! _

_Enjoy folks! _

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**The Search For River Tam: Book & Kaylee**

Two weeks of music. Nothing but beautiful sounds and joyous dancing, a festival devoted to artists, Kaylee was beyond ecstatic. The people in all their shiny costumes overjoyed the mechanic when they were here before, but now, as she had the physicality and emotional capacity of a five year old, this festival was like one huge sugar rush.

The squealing hyperactive-ness was increased ten-fold with a real overdose of sugar. They had passed wondering vendors and one had given the two children ice planets, free! No coin was needed when two adorable faces looked up with wide hopeful glances it was enough to get the tasty treat! Who could resist the little girl with braided pigtails, a flowery dress and dirt smudged on her cheeks, or the dark skinned boy with fluffy hair and captivating eyes?

Eating an ice planet had been easy work as adults, but both Book and Kaylee were somehow incapable of eating the treat without getting it over their faces or on their clothes. Book had managed to get blobs of it in his hair when the dessert on a stick flipped up on the string and hit him on the head. He had laughed at it the first time, but the other times he slowly got frustrated at his inability to eat it.

With her face all sticky and smeared with ice cream, Kaylee was now jumping up and down beaming a smile that surely would have cracked her face if it widened any more.

"This is so _freakin' awesome!"_ Her little fists shook with excitement above her head. "It's so shiny I could die!"

"We don't want that." Book grabbed a strap on Kaylee's dress and pulled her out of the path of some rather energetic dancers. She could have been trampled, could have been seriously injured but Kaylee was blissfully unaware as she bobbed and swayed in an attempt to mimic those dancers.

"Shepherd, ain't this the most fantastic and most super-duper shindig yer ever bin to?"

"Most definitely!" Book was mesmerized suddenly and he clapped his hands as someone cartwheeled past them. He watched the man spinning and turning down the path with wonderment and awe, as did others who got out of their way. When the cart wheeler disappeared he snapped out of his revelry. "However, we are supposed to be looking for River!"

A black cloud hovered over little Kaylee and her smile faded somewhat. Her bottom lip pouted and her head bobbed, making her braided tails swing back and forth.

"Yer right, Shepherd. We need t'find River, that's what's important."

"Don't be upset, little Kaylee. We'll find her!" Book wrapped an arm around her shoulder and squeezed. "Where's that enthusiasm and Kaylee Frye optimism that we all know and love?"

The sunshine returned and Book had to grin back.

"Let's do it! Let's find River!"

Book held up his hand and Kaylee slapped it hard before turning round and searching the crowd for signs of the youngest member of the crew. Book tried to scan the festival goers as well and, as a song broke out on the loud sound system, he rubbed at the socket of his eye.

He hadn't noticed any problems with the artificial device since the transformation and he hoped that nothing would go wrong. Well nothing could, could it?

Book was amazed that such a magical transformation in flesh and blood was possible; he understood a lot about science, technology and in the ways of God, but this was beyond anything he could come to grasps with. Whilst Kaylee was scurrying around people's legs, calling for River, Derrial took the opportunity to give his false eye a poke. Just a little one. It was amazing that the change had included the ocular surveillance device…

"RIVER!" Kaylee was getting frantic now. Her cheery nature was waning and doing so fast. Even the joyful Mandarin song and cartoon video playing on the large screens weren't helping her anxiety for her friend. "We ain't findin' her preacher. It's no good! Simon must be going through hell! What're we gonna do when we don't find her?"

"Don't fret, Kaylee. In crowds such as this and being as small as we are, it's not going to be easy but she will be found. We need to have a difference perspective."

The two stepped out of the main crowd and into a small alley between some shops. The barrels and crates stacked up against the walls were a definite must for kids to climb on, so they did, Book requiring a little assistance from Kaylee. She pushed on his bottom to try and heft him up as much as she could, but his little legs finally enabled him to scramble up. Book then in turn pulled Kaylee up beside him.

The higher view on the barrel didn't improve things that well, especially when other children and even adults were climbing on everything to get an overall look on the festival town themselves. When some older (or was it younger?) kids came and climbed up in front of them shoving some others out of the way, one boy smirked nastily at Book and Kaylee, as if blocking them was somehow amusing.

"Excuse me?" asked Kaylee as she tried to peer over and around the group of boys. "Can ya move please? We can't see what's goin' on!"

"Too gorram bad!" the boy stuck his tongue out and laughed, turning his back on them. Kaylee scowled as the others did as well. Her arms folded across her chest and she huffed in the most huffiest and angriest way she could muster.

"He's as mean as Jayne!" hissed Kaylee to Book, her voice pitched with anger. "They's all like a big group of Jayne Cobbs! Being mean and…well real mean!"

"Kaylee…" Book held on to her arm and whispered in her ear. "These boys are no Jayne Cobb. Yes, our mercenary has a certain uncouth and blunt manner…"

"He's rude."

"_W-ell_…we all know that." Book nodded. "But Jayne…"

Kaylee huffed again when one of the boys nudged at her leg and nearly unbalanced her. Their laughs made her little freckled face scrunch up in disgust. Her nose wrinkled.

"I think our public relations officer has a lot more to him that meets the eye."

"If you say so, preacher. You two do seem to get on well...which is all 'culiar an' all. But what ya see with Jayne is whatcha get and I _know_ he was just like them when he was this age! Pickin' on girls, bein' scuffy lookin' an'…an'…" Kaylee was getting very huffy.

"Being mean?" Book wrapped an arm around her shoulder. The group of boys were pushing around some other children and not being very gentle about it. Their guffaws and rude comments were plain uncalled for. "But you know and certainly River knows, how to deal with his unsavoury behaviours."

"Riv sure does! She bugs the hell out of him!" A small smile drifted across Kaylee's face. "I think she loves freakin' him out and annoyin' him…she's like pickin' at a Jayne scab t'make thin's worse! Yeah that sweet lil' darlin' could teach Jayne a thin' or two…I'm bettin' she could do the same for these _hun dans_! And hell...so can I!"

As soon as Kaylee said those things, the boys in front of them purposely jostled the barrel they were standing on. The two little members of the firefly crew surely would have fallen if they hadn't braced themselves with their hands on the wall.

"Hey! _Chuo zi _ya _ji bai! Di yu!"_ Kaylee hissed spitefully. "We're standin' here! No need to throw us off!"

"Quit yer snivelling girlie!" The eldest boy sneered and then chuckled. "You gotta problem, go find somewhere else! We were here first!"

Book sighed. A memory of back aboard _Serenity_, when they were adults, came to the old man. He recalled Jayne and Kaylee arguing, bickering over the last chair around the table that didn't wobble and the ultimate result was a big shoving contest…which Kaylee won.

So he wasn't surprised in the slightest when Kaylee yelled and gave the boy a huge shove. Kaylee had quite a bit of strength behind her too. Pushing a smug 240 pound merc off a tipped back chair was easy, so was this.

The force behind her shove pushed the boy right off the barrel and he tumbled into his friends, dragging them down to the floor in a tangle of limbs. They were not happy. They shouted and yelled and some of the nearby adults crowded round them. The other little kids laughed.

"I think we'd better go." Book grabbed hold of Kaylee's hand and pulled her down from the barrel. Then like lightening—or as fast as their little legs could scurry—they ran away from the alley and back into chaos of the streets.

Book didn't know how fast they were running, but it was fast. They weaved in and out through the legs and the grip he had on Kaylee's hand was firm and solid. A little sweaty—_ugh!—_but Kaylee didn't slip. In fact as the music got louder, Derrial found himself grinning. Then he was laughing at the rush of it all.

Back home, when he was this young…there was never anything to laugh at. He never had the opportunity to be this free as children should be. His father never allowed him to be. Now this was wonderful.

Kaylee started laughing. It was a beautiful sound, light like sunshine and rainbows and then it turned into a squeal—no, that was him—as Book felt himself being lifted up off the ground. Everything was a blur, Kaylee's hand slipped from his and his little arms and legs flapped frantically trying find ground.

"Shepherd!" Book's heart nearly shot up into his mouth with fear at her cry, but then as he felt himself being dumped on someone's shoulders, he heard Kaylee's happy laugh again.

"Weeeeeeee!" The blur faded—as much as it could with so many lights around the place—and Book was indeed sitting on top of a man's shoulders. Kaylee was sitting on a woman's slight frame and clapping her hands with joy.

"Don't know where ya goin' in such a hurry kiddos, but it ain't a place for you to be on your own!" Angling himself a little, Book was able to take a look at the man's face and his attire. Typical, he was a lawman. The woman—his sister judging by the facial similarities—looked to be another version Kaylee. Though with not quite so much grease or oil smeared over her.

"We're looking for our friend." Said Book to the lawman.

"Roamin' this town on your own is not a good idea, son." The Lawman shook his head. "Even when it ain't festival time."

"I can see for miles up here, Preacher!" Kaylee screeched, gently stroking the red hair of the woman she sat on. "We might even be able to find River like this!"

"We can help you look for your friend." Said the lawman, smiling up at Kaylee and then to his sister. "Then we will have to get you back to your parents."

"Thank you!" Book patted the lawman on the head. This man was nothing like Dobson or any of the other Feds he'd come across in the Verse. Book could tell by his eyes. He had a kind soul. So did his sister.

The woman jiggled Kaylee, making her laugh even more. Book couldn't supress the grin or stop from extending his arms out to the side as the man spun him round. The rush of the air around him and Kaylee's elation made everything feel so wonderful!

"Good, glad you guys are all right. " Said the woman. "I bet your parents are goin' spare."

"They may do, but please…we have to find our friend first!" said Kaylee stroking the woman's hair again. "Please? She's lost an' all alone! Don't call the kiddie feds!"

"Kiddie feds?" laughed the woman. "Bless ya hon! There aint no such thing!"

"The Lady don't like kids bein' on their own." The man said "It's my duty and responsibility to see you safe back with yer folks."

"But we can't go back without River," Said Book, a whine unintentionally sounding in his voice. "Please help us find her!"

Kaylee and Book put on their best pouty expressions and their cuteness was obviously enough to convince the adults. The couple gave in and when both the boy and girl clapped their hand triumphantly, they were bounced on the shoulders in time with the music. So as they were bobbed around amongst a sea of people, Book and Kaylee tried to look for the smallest member of their family.

Book thought he saw glimpses of River, fleeting sights of a little pair of black boots or a wisp of long black tatty hair. He thought he heard her laugh or her singing, but it was never her. The helpful couple carrying them did all that they could and when the two of them were getting even more down heartened, more ice planets were handed to them.

The sugar pushed Derrial Book into overdrive.

"Whoooooo!" He cried and screamed up at the sky above him and bit a large chunk of planet as it swung by his mouth. The vanilla gloop dribbled down his chin and he laughed. "They're so cold and yummy!"

He had never laughed so much in all his life. Derrial Book had been through a lot but now he truly felt free. Kaylee was beyond happy again, waving her arms about and swinging that ice planet around and spraying melted ice cream in her immediate vicinity.

"River? River!" Kaylee's voice called out and the next thing Derrial knew was that the mechanic had slipped off the woman's shoulders and was running to the sidewalk of shops. The woman called out for her to stop, but Book slipped down and began chasing after her.

"Kaylee!"

"I saw her Shepherd!" Kaylee waved an arm for him to follow her. "I saw River down here! RIVER! Honey! Sweetie! It's me! Kaylee!"

Book ran after her as well, calling out for River but knowing that she might not respond to him. His mass of hair may not be shockingly white anymore, but the sheer amount of it, the way it rocked from side to side, probably would still freak her out.

"River?" Book called out. "River!"

"Are you sure you saw her?" The couple were still keeping up with the two of them, but it wasn't easy as Kaylee was pelting along at a startling pace.

"Yes! I saw her! It was definitely her!" Kaylee squealed, as she then impacted with a very large man's backside. She fell onto her bottom and looked up with a disgusted "eew" expression on her face. Before Book or even the couple could reach she jumped back up to her feet and carried on running.

"KayLEEEE!" Book was running out of puff. All this running was too much. "Wait!"

"I know she's here Book! I saw her and…..OOOOH!"

Kaylee came to abrupt halt and Book couldn't stop himself from ploughing into her. It was his turn to tumble to the ground. He sat on his bottom a little dazed for a moment and then gazed up to see Kaylee smooched up against a glass window with wonderment.

He got to his feet just as the couple came to stop behind them. It was then that he saw what had distracted the mechanic so much.

In the window, were displays of various engines parts, tools and mechanical pieces that was making Kaylee literally drool. Ice cream covered fingers smeared over the glass as did Kaylee's face. Her eyes were as wide as dinner plates and pooling with desire.

"Lookit! They got synchronizers…new ones and ones that ain't more than a coupla months old!" Kaylee started jumping up and down. "We gotta get these!"

"You know 'bout all this stuff, little one?" The man looked in wonderment down at Kaylee. She nodded her head and began to spout endless jargon which only made the two adults even more astounded. "How could you know about this at your age?"

Kaylee shrugged her shoulders.

"They talk to me is all. I just know what makes 'em go."

"When we find your friend and with your parent's permission," The woman knelt down next to Kaylee and Book and smiled warmly at them. "We'd love you to show us what else you know."

"Huh?"

"Little one…this store…I own it an' if you know 'bout engines, there's a lot we can offer you."

"SHINY!" Kaylee plucked herself from the window and beamed the most blinding smile at Book. She then lunged at him, crushing him in a hug. "If we find River and get this sweet deal, _Serenity_ is so gonna love us!"

Kaylee jumped up and down squee-ing loudly before hugging the woman and her brother and running off down the street again.

"RIVER!"

Book found himself jumping for joy as well. Her enthusiasm, her vibrancy wore off on the little boy and he found himself running after the mechanic and caring nothing for the ice cream on his face and hands and in his hair.

It was great to feel this young. He almost wished he didn't have to be an adult again.

TBC….


End file.
